First-Date Personalities

You've been talking to someone online and it's been going well, so now it's time to take the next big step - the first date! You're probably feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. However, have you given any thought to how you're going to mentally approach the big day? Your mindset can play a big role in your perception of the entire evening - it can even affect your behavior. Here are a few common approaches, and their consequences:

The Job Interviewee: You really, really don't want to mess this up! What if you say the wrong thing? Are you wearing the right clothes? Your date smirked when you answered that question - what does it all mean? Will they call you back?

Chances are, approaching a date like this will leave you a bundle of nerves, and your date may very well pick up on the tension. Try to have a little more confidence! Why are you the one being interviewed, anyway? Of course, taking the opposite approach makes you...

The Job Interviewer: You're approaching your date with a mix of aggression and cynicism. Will this person be good enough for you? Maybe it would be fun (for you) to ask them completely random questions and play head games, just to see what they do!

Here's the thing: if you're judging your date, or laughing at them, they will almost certainly pick up on it. You're looking for someone who will be one of your best friends, not picking out a pig at the fair.

The Scientist: You're looking for compatibility - by compiling a list of your interests and cross-referencing them. Then you're going to order those interests by importance. You might throw in a bit of astrological compatibility, blood type, maybe smell each other's clothes to test for pheromones...

You're trying to be logical and thorough - but chemistry has a little something extra that we can't quite define yet. With this sterile approach, your date might feel more like a specimen. Perhaps relaxing and enjoying the date will give you your most accurate results yet!

Obviously all of these approaches are lacking a little something. Where's the happy medium? What should we strive for? How about...

The Conversationalist: You keep in mind that it's not a contest, and you're looking for a friend, not a reward. You're meeting to see if you're compatible and get along - no more, no less. If it doesn't work out, it's no one's fault; you simply weren't compatible. And if it does work out - well, that could be the start of something really exciting.

Hopefully, taking this approach will leave you relaxed, confident, and actually listening to your date's answers. A happy mix of everything, that will leave you at your best - and best able to appreciate your date!