Finding the Perfect Match
- Wednesday, June 20 2012 @ 09:22 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,077
Recently I became acquainted with a guy named “Ryan.” He seemed intelligent, witty, and he’s certainly good-looking. However, not only is he single, according to him, he hasn’t really had many serious or long-term relationships. In his words, “I just haven’t found my perfect match.”
The more I chatted with him, the more I realized that when he said “perfect match,” he wasn’t joking. He described women he’d dated and dumped, for reasons like “She had three cats, which seemed a little too cat-lady” and “We shared the same politics, but she seemed less passionate than I was.”
Honestly, I’d only ever seen such nit-picking in romantic comedies. It was somewhat shocking to meet someone who really was seeking perfection. And, of course, he hadn’t found it yet - and he probably never will.
Perhaps only a professional could really determine why Ryan sought perfection - and, more importantly, why he couldn’t see it in any of his previous dates. Perhaps he has an immature, fairy-tale notion of what love should be like. Perhaps he’s not really ready to find the “perfect match,” and he fixates on insignificant details as a way to give himself an “out.”
Remember: when we talk about finding the “perfect match,” we aren’t talking about literal perfection: we’re talking about finding the right match for us. Further, that doesn’t mean that there’s only one “perfect” match for us in the world, because, after all, no one’s actually perfect. Instead, what we mean is finding someone we choose to stay with.
No one could turn down an actual “perfect person,” someone tailor-made for all your needs. But when you choose to be with someone despite their very human flaws, when you care enough to forge a strong relationship that goes deeper than just common interests or physical attraction... well, isn’t that far more romantic than some fairy-tale perfect match?
The more I chatted with him, the more I realized that when he said “perfect match,” he wasn’t joking. He described women he’d dated and dumped, for reasons like “She had three cats, which seemed a little too cat-lady” and “We shared the same politics, but she seemed less passionate than I was.”
Honestly, I’d only ever seen such nit-picking in romantic comedies. It was somewhat shocking to meet someone who really was seeking perfection. And, of course, he hadn’t found it yet - and he probably never will.
Perhaps only a professional could really determine why Ryan sought perfection - and, more importantly, why he couldn’t see it in any of his previous dates. Perhaps he has an immature, fairy-tale notion of what love should be like. Perhaps he’s not really ready to find the “perfect match,” and he fixates on insignificant details as a way to give himself an “out.”
Remember: when we talk about finding the “perfect match,” we aren’t talking about literal perfection: we’re talking about finding the right match for us. Further, that doesn’t mean that there’s only one “perfect” match for us in the world, because, after all, no one’s actually perfect. Instead, what we mean is finding someone we choose to stay with.
No one could turn down an actual “perfect person,” someone tailor-made for all your needs. But when you choose to be with someone despite their very human flaws, when you care enough to forge a strong relationship that goes deeper than just common interests or physical attraction... well, isn’t that far more romantic than some fairy-tale perfect match?
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