Fighting with Your Boyfriend? Not over Facebook.

Jodi Foster spoke about privacy recently at The Golden Globe Awards. She's been notoriously private when it comes to celebrity culture, and she had a lot to say about reality TV and the dream to become "famous." That it's not truthful, and doesn't serve the people being exploited. She wistfully remarked how in the future, we'll look back on the days when we didn't know everything about everyone and wish for that kind of privacy again.

Her remarks rang true with me, even coming from a celebrity. With social media, we are tempted to post our every thought, opinion, and activity. We want to be noticed. Even when we stop by Starbucks for a coffee, we feel the need to check in, to make sure people are paying attention. To make sure we're not missing out on anything.

This kind of sharing is becoming more commonplace, to the point where I think people don't have many boundaries when it comes to letting others know where they stand (literally and figuratively). We crave attention, especially digitally, when we're feeling less and less connected to others in the real world. We want to be understood.

This kind of thinking has meant that conversations and arguments show up online. Facebook can become a feeding ground for people who are feeling shunned, isolated, angry or upset - a place to post their rants and get some response. Comments make us feel validated, no?

If you have a fight with your boyfriend, do you tend to post the details over Facebook and let your friends weigh in? Do you want your boyfriend to hear your argument, to see where you're coming from? This kind of sharing won't get you the result you're hoping for. It's like screaming from the top of your lungs rather than engaging in thoughtful, respectful conversation.

Maybe it seems harmless in the moment - funny, even. Maybe you think your significant other would understand if you share with your Facebook friends about one of his awful habits, or something he said to you that made you angry. Maybe it seems cathartic, helpful. But sharing your personal issues with your SO over a public forum like Facebook isn't helpful. It only further aggravates your situation.

If you have an issue, it's best to talk it over face to face. There's no need to engage Facebook friends and have them take sides or offer advice. This is between you and your SO. Talking over these issues and coming to a mutual understanding is part of the growing process of any relationship. So give the process a chance. Your relationship deserves some privacy.