Don't Wait for Perfection
- Sunday, February 20 2011 @ 08:45 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,356
I’ve heard it over and over, particularly after the holidays: “Well, I want to join an online dating site,” or, “I know I should become active again and update my profile,” but “I’m just not looking very good right now. Maybe in a few months.”
I completely understand insecurity - who doesn’t feel insecure about some aspect of themselves? However, here’s why you should try getting on that online dating site today, instead of “a few months from now.”
First, there are those who are simply slightly plumper from the holidays (or from the fall... or the past few years). In my own experience, taken both from myself and from looking at countless photos of others, it takes a substantial weight loss or gain before you’re completely unrecognizable in the face. Anything under twenty pounds and you pretty much look the same, at least from the neck up. Yes, I know the slightest change in the contour of your chin seems drastic to you. To everyone else? Not that much.
Then there are those who are embarking on some of kind of longer-term change, be it an attempt to lose a larger amount of weight, quitting smoking or getting braces. Yes, I can understand the temptation to hide until you’ve achieved your goal. However, why not live life in the meantime? So much of attraction is in the attitude, anyway - I’ve known plus-sized, confident people who are constantly attached, and slender people who had considerably more trouble; it all boiled down to how they felt about themselves. As you embark on your long-term change, make sure your self-esteem is also changing for the better. It’s the most important asset you can maintain - and if you’ve already got it, why not start online dating right away?
Speaking practically, online dating, like all dating, is something of a numbers game. You might have a great profile that does you no good if no one compatible is on the site at the time. Thus, it’s best to start as early as possible, sending out those first-contact emails, getting a feel for who’s out there and whether the particular site is a good match for you. Whether you feel you’re at your absolute best or not, it’s never too early to at least scope out the dating pool.
Don’t limit yourself from taking the plunge today. But remember: attitude and confidence really make the difference. If you do decide to delve into the world of online dating, you’ll be much more successful if you jump in with both feet. Sure, we want to wait until we're perfect - but is anyone perfect, ever? Now is as good a time as any.
I completely understand insecurity - who doesn’t feel insecure about some aspect of themselves? However, here’s why you should try getting on that online dating site today, instead of “a few months from now.”
First, there are those who are simply slightly plumper from the holidays (or from the fall... or the past few years). In my own experience, taken both from myself and from looking at countless photos of others, it takes a substantial weight loss or gain before you’re completely unrecognizable in the face. Anything under twenty pounds and you pretty much look the same, at least from the neck up. Yes, I know the slightest change in the contour of your chin seems drastic to you. To everyone else? Not that much.
Then there are those who are embarking on some of kind of longer-term change, be it an attempt to lose a larger amount of weight, quitting smoking or getting braces. Yes, I can understand the temptation to hide until you’ve achieved your goal. However, why not live life in the meantime? So much of attraction is in the attitude, anyway - I’ve known plus-sized, confident people who are constantly attached, and slender people who had considerably more trouble; it all boiled down to how they felt about themselves. As you embark on your long-term change, make sure your self-esteem is also changing for the better. It’s the most important asset you can maintain - and if you’ve already got it, why not start online dating right away?
Speaking practically, online dating, like all dating, is something of a numbers game. You might have a great profile that does you no good if no one compatible is on the site at the time. Thus, it’s best to start as early as possible, sending out those first-contact emails, getting a feel for who’s out there and whether the particular site is a good match for you. Whether you feel you’re at your absolute best or not, it’s never too early to at least scope out the dating pool.
Don’t limit yourself from taking the plunge today. But remember: attitude and confidence really make the difference. If you do decide to delve into the world of online dating, you’ll be much more successful if you jump in with both feet. Sure, we want to wait until we're perfect - but is anyone perfect, ever? Now is as good a time as any.
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