Do You Rely on the Opinions of Others?

When we're dating, it's natural to ask friends and family for advice and perspective on things. For instance, if you had a bad date, you might feel better talking about it with friends who sympathize. Or if you're confused by someone's actions, it might help give you some clarity to discuss and analyze it with your friends.

And what about when you introduce your boyfriend or girlfriend to your friends or family for the first time? Are you anxious that they get along, or that they have nice things to say about each other? Do you second-guess your decision to date the person if your best friend doesn't like him?

A study came out recently from the University of Missouri, claiming that comments your Facebook friends leave on your profile picture strongly affect your level of perceived physical, social and professional attractiveness. In other words, what other people say about you carries more weight than how you present yourself to the world. References are everything, not only in your job, but in your social life.

Seoyeon Hong, a doctoral candidate in journalism, and Kevin Wise, an associate professor, worked on the study together, and found that the more comments (particularly the positive ones) users have, the more attractive they're perceived to be. According to Hong, "opinions of other people matter more than the target person's own self-presentation."

So what does this mean? According to Hong, it's time to start managing your Facebook profile more carefully. If you have friends who make snarky comments, you might want to monitor them. Not only are potential employers looking and gathering information about you this way, but so are your dates. And if other people make snide comments about you, then it's easier for strangers to believe them to be true.

If this is how we gather information about someone on Facebook, it must carry over to real life. How many times do we judge others by what their friends and co-workers say about them? Have you ever been talked out of dating somebody because a mutual friend said they were bad news? Do you regret not giving them a chance?

Facebook is influencing our lives in countless ways, but perhaps it's also bringing to light the things we haven't admitted to ourselves - like the fact that we really do care a lot about what those close to us think, even though we might pretend to ignore it. And maybe it will give us pause before we rush to judgment on somebody. After all, just because someone doesn't care for them on Facebook doesn't mean that they aren't worth getting to know. It's up to each of us to decide how much we want to believe others, and how much to find out for ourselves.