Declaring a Success
- Tuesday, May 22 2012 @ 09:37 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 982
If you’ve been in the world of online dating for any length of time, you’ve probably heard The Question. It might come from a friend who’s contemplating creating their own dating profile, or it might come from a cynical co-worker. Regardless of intent, the content is almost always the same: “So, does online dating really work?”
Giving an answer can be more complicated than you’d expect. Do you say it does work, if you’re not currently in a relationship? What if you were in a relationship for awhile but it ultimately doesn’t last forever? Do you decide success is a marriage, when there’s no guarantee that will last forever, either?
The fact of the matter is, there’s no magical finish line you can cross and declare, “Yep, I don’t need to worry about relationships ever again.” Even a good relationship requires a little maintenance. Beyond that, there are relationships that work for a specific time in a specific couple’s lives, meeting specific needs. If those needs change, do we discount the happiness that was had?
So when you’re asked whether online dating works - or if you’re asking yourself that same question - don’t get hung up on whether you feel like you’ve been provided a Happily Ever After. Instead, ask yourself a few questions: Are you getting more exposure to new people than you were before? Are you interacting with more people or going on more dates? Are you learning what you really need and want from a relationship, and what compatibility really means to you?
If you can answer affirmatively to most or all of those questions, it seems like you’re well on your way to finding a good match for yourself - and at the very least, further on in your journey than you would be otherwise. And what is that, if not success?
Giving an answer can be more complicated than you’d expect. Do you say it does work, if you’re not currently in a relationship? What if you were in a relationship for awhile but it ultimately doesn’t last forever? Do you decide success is a marriage, when there’s no guarantee that will last forever, either?
The fact of the matter is, there’s no magical finish line you can cross and declare, “Yep, I don’t need to worry about relationships ever again.” Even a good relationship requires a little maintenance. Beyond that, there are relationships that work for a specific time in a specific couple’s lives, meeting specific needs. If those needs change, do we discount the happiness that was had?
So when you’re asked whether online dating works - or if you’re asking yourself that same question - don’t get hung up on whether you feel like you’ve been provided a Happily Ever After. Instead, ask yourself a few questions: Are you getting more exposure to new people than you were before? Are you interacting with more people or going on more dates? Are you learning what you really need and want from a relationship, and what compatibility really means to you?
If you can answer affirmatively to most or all of those questions, it seems like you’re well on your way to finding a good match for yourself - and at the very least, further on in your journey than you would be otherwise. And what is that, if not success?
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