Dating a Parent
- Saturday, November 06 2010 @ 10:36 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,464
Maybe you're one of those people with zero experience handling children. You were an only child or the youngest in your family, and you didn't have any nieces or nephews or cousins. You never really thought you would have kids yourself. And now, unexpectedly, you're dating a parent. Now you're beginning to wish you'd paid attention to movies and articles about dating parents, but you never thought it would apply to you. Where to begin?
On the surface, dating a parent may seem fraught with more peril than a non-parent, but don't let that dissuade you. Just because your partner has had children doesn't mean they're any more or less predictable than any other relationship.
When you're just starting out, it's important that you defer to the parent when it comes to meeting or spending time with the kids. Regardless of what books say, the parent is the one who knows the kid's temperament. Maybe the child is small and the parent doesn't want an attachment formed too early. Maybe the child is grown and busy with their own family. Regardless, it's important in these early stages to trust your partner is trying to make the best decision, and concentrate on the two of you, just like any other couple newly in love.
When you do finally spend time with the kids, remember that they're just small human beings, not an alien species. You don't have to magically transform into an authority figure, nor do you need to be their best friend. “Be yourself” may be a cliché, but it's the best course of action, as children (like anyone) resent insincerity.
As with most things, clear communication is the key to making things work. You don't have to pretend to be an expert in parenting, or even in relationships; keep communication open with your partner, and with the child, if applicable, and you'll all find your way together. And if things work out, you might just find yourself with a new family as well as a new love.
For online dating sites that offer services designed for single moms and dads, check out our Single Parents Dating category.
On the surface, dating a parent may seem fraught with more peril than a non-parent, but don't let that dissuade you. Just because your partner has had children doesn't mean they're any more or less predictable than any other relationship.
When you're just starting out, it's important that you defer to the parent when it comes to meeting or spending time with the kids. Regardless of what books say, the parent is the one who knows the kid's temperament. Maybe the child is small and the parent doesn't want an attachment formed too early. Maybe the child is grown and busy with their own family. Regardless, it's important in these early stages to trust your partner is trying to make the best decision, and concentrate on the two of you, just like any other couple newly in love.
When you do finally spend time with the kids, remember that they're just small human beings, not an alien species. You don't have to magically transform into an authority figure, nor do you need to be their best friend. “Be yourself” may be a cliché, but it's the best course of action, as children (like anyone) resent insincerity.
As with most things, clear communication is the key to making things work. You don't have to pretend to be an expert in parenting, or even in relationships; keep communication open with your partner, and with the child, if applicable, and you'll all find your way together. And if things work out, you might just find yourself with a new family as well as a new love.
For online dating sites that offer services designed for single moms and dads, check out our Single Parents Dating category.
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