Dating After Divorce: The Dos

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Divorce does not mean being sentenced to singlehood forever.

Sure, there will be a period when you feel..well...less than stellar about the entire experience. But that's ok. When you come out the other side, the world looks just as rosy as it did before. It might even look a little bit rosier - once you've hit bottom, the only way is up! The end of a bad relationship means that a better relationship is waiting to take its place.

The key to finding that better relationship is to be in an open, receptive state of mind. Negativity breeds negativity, but positivity draws more positivity into your life. After a divorce, it's important to reflect on the good things about your post-split life. Like...

  • Freedom. You can now do whatever you want to do and be whoever you want to be. There is no fear of judgment, anger, nagging, or reprisals. Enjoy the rare opportunity to think of no one but yourself. Who do you really want to be?
  • Confidence. A bad relationship can be incredibly destructive to your self-esteem, and a split can make it even worse. Use singlehood to get your confidence back, and boost it higher than it was before. You'll come out of your divorce the happiest, most attractive person you have ever been.
  • The silly things. Do you want to have ice cream for dinner? Do it. Do you want to spend a weekend marathoning every episode of a trashy reality show? Savor every second of it without fear of what someone else will think. Do you want to wear the same pair of underwear for a week? Well...that's kinda gross, but there's nothing stopping you.
  • Making peace. Some prefer the clean break. Others prefer to remain friends with their exes, and you may even find that your relationship as friends is better than it was as a couple. Closure, peace, and friendship...what could be better than that combination?
  • Strength. Be proud of what you have endured and overcome. Revel in your strength and capacity for growth. Acknowledge the incredible power that comes with knowing you are independent and happy.

And, most importantly...

  • The future. Just because one relationship didn't work out, doesn't mean that another one won't. Ending a relationship that isn't working for you means opening yourself up to a relationship that will. Now that you've moved on from an unhealthy situation, you can find the love you really want and deserve.