Date Expectations
- Tuesday, November 02 2010 @ 09:49 am
- Contributed by: kellyseal
- Views: 1,885
When we’re dating, we tend to be on our best behavior. We like to appear confident, in control, attractive...and dare I say it? Perfect.
Of course, none of us is perfect. We all have weaknesses. The problem comes when we try to hide our weaknesses and pretend to be perfect, hoping the object of our affection won’t notice our flaws and lose interest.
The truth is, when you allow someone in and show your own vulnerability, you make room for a connection. That is, people connect with others who make them feel comfortable, and with whom they can relate. If you are trying so hard to portray yourself as a flawless man or woman, you don’t leave much room for your dates to truly connect with you. If you show that you’re human, you also give him room to be more comfortable and vulnerable with you.
For instance, wouldn’t you rather let your date know if you hate large crowds than going along to a concert because he wants to go? Trying to please him doesn’t do either of you any favors. Also, if you don't feel comfortable being honest with him about such small issues, how difficult will it be to come clean when it comes to the more important challenges? You will both be happier as the relationship moves forward if you are open about your fears and insecurities. Honesty is crucial in building connection and a lasting relationship.
Also, when you’re dating, have realistic expectations about your potential dates. They are not perfect, and neither are you. If you spend a lot of time and energy dismissing dates because they don’t have everything on your “must-have” list, you could be missing out on getting to know some really great people. Even one who may be perfect for you.
Of course, none of us is perfect. We all have weaknesses. The problem comes when we try to hide our weaknesses and pretend to be perfect, hoping the object of our affection won’t notice our flaws and lose interest.
The truth is, when you allow someone in and show your own vulnerability, you make room for a connection. That is, people connect with others who make them feel comfortable, and with whom they can relate. If you are trying so hard to portray yourself as a flawless man or woman, you don’t leave much room for your dates to truly connect with you. If you show that you’re human, you also give him room to be more comfortable and vulnerable with you.
For instance, wouldn’t you rather let your date know if you hate large crowds than going along to a concert because he wants to go? Trying to please him doesn’t do either of you any favors. Also, if you don't feel comfortable being honest with him about such small issues, how difficult will it be to come clean when it comes to the more important challenges? You will both be happier as the relationship moves forward if you are open about your fears and insecurities. Honesty is crucial in building connection and a lasting relationship.
Also, when you’re dating, have realistic expectations about your potential dates. They are not perfect, and neither are you. If you spend a lot of time and energy dismissing dates because they don’t have everything on your “must-have” list, you could be missing out on getting to know some really great people. Even one who may be perfect for you.
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