The Dangers of Online Dating: You've Already Conquered Them
- Sunday, March 31 2013 @ 10:37 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 979
Even in this day and age, online dating is still often treated as a mysterious entity, an “other,” as though you and your potential matches are climbing into robot suits to assess compatibility. Even worse, the news is full of stories about the dangers of online dating. The stress of dating combined with shady figures in back alleys and robots in a laboratory? No wonder some feel confused or intimidated.
In reality, the “dangers” of online dating are all dangers we’ve faced before, and regularly. For example, we’ve been meeting strangers and forming relationships our entire lives. Have we ever met someone who was potentially creepy? Probably, and we probably depended on our observation, logic and gut instinct and avoided that person thereafter.
Then there’s the technological component, the threat of being “scammed” by a potential match. Well, have we ever received a spam email with a sob story? Almost certainly. And there are certain clues that let us know it’s a scam - the details that don’t quite work, the “one size fits all” nature of how they claim they came across our email. Certainly some small percentage of people probably fall for it, but the vast majority don’t.
So why is online dating any different than our everyday experiences? Well, the one mitigating factor is the issue of love, trust and infatuation. It’s certainly possible that one might want to find love so badly they turn on their “blinders.” Again, that possibility exists all the time, not just when one fires up the computer - but still, these three factors combined tend to be what stirs unease about online dating.
So if you or a loved one is worried about online dating, what precautions can you take? First, be clear about the purpose of an online dating site: you’re using it as a way to meet people, not to literally fall in love without ever laying eyes on each other.
Before you’ve met, exercise the same caution you would in any online interaction: don’t give out too much personal information, and certainly don’t give out financial information. Be wary of sob stories where money is involved, and don’t get involved in a “relationship” when it’s clear one person is stalling and doesn’t want to actually meet.
When you do meet in person, exercise the same caution you would with any stranger or blind date: tell someone in advance where you’re going to meet, and meet in a public place. Don’t rely on your date for transportation. If you’re extra nervous, have someone look out for you, like a friend posted anonymously elsewhere in the venue.
But remember: you’ve relied on the combination of your instincts and your brain for your entire life, and navigated countless situations and strangers, with and without the complication of hope and hormones. Why should using an online dating site to meet someone be any more complicated?
In reality, the “dangers” of online dating are all dangers we’ve faced before, and regularly. For example, we’ve been meeting strangers and forming relationships our entire lives. Have we ever met someone who was potentially creepy? Probably, and we probably depended on our observation, logic and gut instinct and avoided that person thereafter.
Then there’s the technological component, the threat of being “scammed” by a potential match. Well, have we ever received a spam email with a sob story? Almost certainly. And there are certain clues that let us know it’s a scam - the details that don’t quite work, the “one size fits all” nature of how they claim they came across our email. Certainly some small percentage of people probably fall for it, but the vast majority don’t.
So why is online dating any different than our everyday experiences? Well, the one mitigating factor is the issue of love, trust and infatuation. It’s certainly possible that one might want to find love so badly they turn on their “blinders.” Again, that possibility exists all the time, not just when one fires up the computer - but still, these three factors combined tend to be what stirs unease about online dating.
So if you or a loved one is worried about online dating, what precautions can you take? First, be clear about the purpose of an online dating site: you’re using it as a way to meet people, not to literally fall in love without ever laying eyes on each other.
Before you’ve met, exercise the same caution you would in any online interaction: don’t give out too much personal information, and certainly don’t give out financial information. Be wary of sob stories where money is involved, and don’t get involved in a “relationship” when it’s clear one person is stalling and doesn’t want to actually meet.
When you do meet in person, exercise the same caution you would with any stranger or blind date: tell someone in advance where you’re going to meet, and meet in a public place. Don’t rely on your date for transportation. If you’re extra nervous, have someone look out for you, like a friend posted anonymously elsewhere in the venue.
But remember: you’ve relied on the combination of your instincts and your brain for your entire life, and navigated countless situations and strangers, with and without the complication of hope and hormones. Why should using an online dating site to meet someone be any more complicated?
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