Conquering Dating Fears: You like him, but is it going to work?

You've been out on a couple of dates with a new guy, and you find yourself really attracted to him. Things are going well: he seems to be interested in you, too. But instead of feeling happy and excited, you are scared. What if he's not really interested? What if you end up getting bored with him? What if he snores, plays too many video games, or doesn't like your friends?

While it's easy to get caught up in the "what ifs", they can also sabotage your budding romance before it's even gotten a chance to bloom. Instead of giving in to your fears about how the relationship might go, try keeping an open mind and being positive. You really don't know how each relationship will play out, and perhaps you're fearful of this guy actually being "the one". Instead of playing into your fears and self-sabotaging, try taking things one step at a time. You're still getting to know him. You like spending time with him. Let go of all those doubts and try focusing and enjoying the present. Following are some tricks to keep you on track.

Remember: you aren't dating your past. Don't compare your new love to past relationships gone wrong. He is not your ex boyfriend. Let go of the fear of repeating yourself and get to know him before making quick judgments.

Turn off the critical chatter. My rule of thumb is, don't start critiquing someone who interests you until you've been out on at least six dates. We can always find things to complain or worry about, and this is our tendency as daters. Instead, try focusing on how he makes you feel, if you are excited to see him, and if he treats you with respect.

Don't second-guess his actions. If he opens the door for you, picks up the check, or calls you back immediately, don't second-guess his intentions. Likely he doesn't have ulterior motives, so don't assume he does. He's attracted to you. Enjoy the gestures!

Don't worry about what you don't know. A friend of mine started dating an older man, and after only two dates, was worried about introducing him to her young friends. She assumed that he would be dismissive of them, or that her friends would make fun of him. Instead of jumping to conclusions about how people will react, have some courage to wait and see what actually happens! You may be pleasantly surprised.

Also, I'll remind you that your friends and family aren't dating your love interest; you are. If he makes you happy, that's what's most important.