Confidence - Better Than Makeup
- Wednesday, February 17 2010 @ 08:17 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 2,446
A weird thing recently happened to one of my best friends. I warn you, this is going to sound like some cheesy plot from a movie – and usually I try to stay away from fairy-tales. Still, this has something I think we can all learn from, so please bear with me.
My friend was very frustrated with her love life. She'd dated guys from all over, with mixed results, but no real winners. Once she decided to try online dating, a few years back. She became enamored with one guy, and he turned out to be a jerk in person.
She declared she was done with online dating forever. None of my cajoling, or logical arguments that she'd dated jerks before and that didn't put her off from meeting in person forever, seemed to have an effect. Meanwhile, she became increasingly negative about meeting the “right guy” and relationships in general.
Until a few months ago. I don't know exactly what went on in her head to change her mind, but abruptly she decided to take charge, of her life and this whole relationship thing. Instead of waiting for Prince Charming to come find her, she was going to put herself out there and find him. That included online dating; she even asked me to help proofread her profile.
Rarely had I ever seen her so confident, assertive and pro-active. It agreed with her, really. And apparently someone else thought so too – because the night that I toiled over her profile, she went out with friends, and a really nice guy approached her. They went out on a date shortly after.
At first I was a little miffed that the online profile would go to waste, but it's been a few months, and they're still going strong. And then I realized: maybe the profile served a purpose after all. My friend didn't change herself physically; she didn't change her core personality, but her attitude about dating certainly changed through the profile-writing process. She decided she didn't want to wait for a guy to find her, and that very attitude made her more attractive. And so far, she's reaped the benefits.
Maybe we could all learn a lesson from her. Being pro-active is almost always positive. If that guy hadn't approached my friend, she would have been okay, and she would have approached someone else. When you're confident, and assertive, situations become increasingly win-win. Try taking charge of your own life, and see if the benefits don't show in almost every facet.
My friend was very frustrated with her love life. She'd dated guys from all over, with mixed results, but no real winners. Once she decided to try online dating, a few years back. She became enamored with one guy, and he turned out to be a jerk in person.
She declared she was done with online dating forever. None of my cajoling, or logical arguments that she'd dated jerks before and that didn't put her off from meeting in person forever, seemed to have an effect. Meanwhile, she became increasingly negative about meeting the “right guy” and relationships in general.
Until a few months ago. I don't know exactly what went on in her head to change her mind, but abruptly she decided to take charge, of her life and this whole relationship thing. Instead of waiting for Prince Charming to come find her, she was going to put herself out there and find him. That included online dating; she even asked me to help proofread her profile.
Rarely had I ever seen her so confident, assertive and pro-active. It agreed with her, really. And apparently someone else thought so too – because the night that I toiled over her profile, she went out with friends, and a really nice guy approached her. They went out on a date shortly after.
At first I was a little miffed that the online profile would go to waste, but it's been a few months, and they're still going strong. And then I realized: maybe the profile served a purpose after all. My friend didn't change herself physically; she didn't change her core personality, but her attitude about dating certainly changed through the profile-writing process. She decided she didn't want to wait for a guy to find her, and that very attitude made her more attractive. And so far, she's reaped the benefits.
Maybe we could all learn a lesson from her. Being pro-active is almost always positive. If that guy hadn't approached my friend, she would have been okay, and she would have approached someone else. When you're confident, and assertive, situations become increasingly win-win. Try taking charge of your own life, and see if the benefits don't show in almost every facet.
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