How To Build Confidence In The Dating Game

Let's be honest: dating is hard. Nothing shatters your confidence more than rejection from someone you're interested in. One bad experience can stick with you for ages, eating away at your self-esteem bit by bit, even if you've had a hundred good experiences to make up for it.

And to make things even more confusing, confidence is both the sexiest trait out there and one of the most difficult to develop. How's that for frustrating?

Well, the good news is, confidence isn't unattainable. Not by a long shot. The secret to developing confidence, and using that confidence to find love, is to treat it like a journey.

Think of the tale of King Arthur, pulling the sword from the stone and being crowed "the true king." That quest is your quest. Unlocking the secrets of self-confidence is like pulling the sword from the stone. It may seem like an impossible feat, but success is possible if you try.

How does that journey begin? Your journey is personal - and it's the uniqueness that makes the journey so fascinating - but here are some ideas to get you started:·

• Read. It's not enough to only read - reading is nothing if you don't take action - but it's a great first step. Lay the foundation by reading books like Dale Carnegie's famous How To Win Friends And Influence People to develop an understanding of basic social skills. Learn tried-and-true communication strategies that will help you relax, be genuine, and become genuinely interested in other people.
• Fix yourself up. You can't expect other people to feel good about you if you don't feel good about yourself. Do whatever it takes to become awesome. Dress like a rockstar (or a Fortune 500 CEO, or the Marlboro Man, or whatever makes you feel confident and cool). Then, when you're satisfied with the outside, start working on the inside. Ditch your job if it doesn't make you happy. Pursue passions. Try new things. Take classes. Go to the gym. Pick up a new hobby or two. When you're interesting to yourself, you'll be interesting to others.
• Put it all into practice. You can only lay the groundwork for so long. Eventually you're going to have to dive head first into the dating world. If you normal spend evenings at home, make a point of going out. The more social situations you put yourself in, the more opportunities you have to meet someone amazing. And once you're there, start talking to people, even if it's just to say "Hello." Over time, your confidence will grow, your conversations will expand, and your dating horizons will open up.

Do you hear that? Excalibur is calling.