Becoming a Scholar of Love
- Saturday, June 02 2012 @ 09:22 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,174
It’s not unusual to run into the stereotype that all who use online dating sites are socially awkward. Sometimes it’s not even a stereotype - there are undoubtedly those who are initially more comfortable communicating through text than face-to-face. However, here’s something to consider (or perhaps bring up in the face of good-natured teasing): “You get a lot less awkward after a few dates!”
See, romance may not be a skill, but social interaction is. And dating, no matter the venue, is social. So perhaps someone turns to online dating because that’s where they feel more comfortable starting out; through emailing and dating, they’re learning the same lessons and gaining the same skills as anyone else (though perhaps more at their own speed).
In fact, consider: online dating might even help your interactions that originate in person. Once you’ve been on a few first dates, you start to learn what you’re really looking for - and that what looks good on paper doesn’t always translate to chemistry. As you’re learning to identify what doesn’t work for you, you’re also learning how to recognize what does - thus, when you do encounter someone with whom you have an instant connection, it’s all the more apparent, and appreciated. Perhaps it might even spur you into asking for a number or a date, even if that’s not ordinarily in your nature.
Remembering that dating includes skills that we can all improve can be particularly helpful after an awkward first date, or even an email that didn’t turn out the way we’d like. And if we remember that every situation can be one from which we can learn something, we’ll both improve our skills and save ourselves from burnout and frustration.
So before you get discouraged by an insensitive stereotype, remember: the dating world, regardless of venue, is full of people of all strengths and skill levels. We’re not here to build ourselves up at the expense of others. Instead, we’re here to learn more about ourselves, and find the best romantic match. Who doesn’t want to be a scholar of love?
See, romance may not be a skill, but social interaction is. And dating, no matter the venue, is social. So perhaps someone turns to online dating because that’s where they feel more comfortable starting out; through emailing and dating, they’re learning the same lessons and gaining the same skills as anyone else (though perhaps more at their own speed).
In fact, consider: online dating might even help your interactions that originate in person. Once you’ve been on a few first dates, you start to learn what you’re really looking for - and that what looks good on paper doesn’t always translate to chemistry. As you’re learning to identify what doesn’t work for you, you’re also learning how to recognize what does - thus, when you do encounter someone with whom you have an instant connection, it’s all the more apparent, and appreciated. Perhaps it might even spur you into asking for a number or a date, even if that’s not ordinarily in your nature.
Remembering that dating includes skills that we can all improve can be particularly helpful after an awkward first date, or even an email that didn’t turn out the way we’d like. And if we remember that every situation can be one from which we can learn something, we’ll both improve our skills and save ourselves from burnout and frustration.
So before you get discouraged by an insensitive stereotype, remember: the dating world, regardless of venue, is full of people of all strengths and skill levels. We’re not here to build ourselves up at the expense of others. Instead, we’re here to learn more about ourselves, and find the best romantic match. Who doesn’t want to be a scholar of love?
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