Beauty and the Beast

Look at any movie or romance novel and you'll see that most relationships fall into a few basic archetypes. Perhaps the most famous of them all is the “opposites attract” couple. It's been done so many times that it's easy to paint a picture even beyond their opposite lifestyles: one has a fiery temper, one could be seen as cold. They hate each other on sight, but they have smoldering chemistry. They're forced to work together, and eventually, something sparks between them. It even works for friendships – look at any buddy-cop movie.

Now, the question becomes: how common is that type of relationship, really? And does it matter that online dating is not designed to lead to that kind of match?

I've noticed a good number of people online whose profiles seem, well, antagonistic in their very nature. “If you think you can handle me...” “If you can take my sarcasm...” Most of the time, I'm turned off by the very bluntness of the profile. But now I'm wondering: are these people who simply have one of “those” kind of personalities, the ones that grow on a person? Are they better suited for a relationship wherein fighting and loving aren't mutually exclusive?

And even if an abrasive, explosive personality is best matched with someone cool and in control, would they ever find each other through profile alone? Unless they're actively looking for an opposite, most likely not.

So if these relationships are really as common and effective as movies would have us believe, maybe those best suited for an opposite will have a little more trouble with online dating. And that's the nature of life, I suppose; no one system works perfectly for everyone, and maybe some are meant to test their chemistry in person. Still, it makes me wonder: we're all about finding our match – matched preferences, matched lifestyles, coordinating interests. Maybe a little conflict is good for the intellect – and the relationship.