Are You too Busy for Online Dating?

I talk to a lot of single people about their dating habits and how they meet others. Many are unsatisfied with the quality of people they're meeting and confused about what they should do to be more successful in their searches. When I mention giving online dating a try, they immediately freeze up.

Many are afraid to try online dating for the first time - it can be scary if you don't know what to expect. Others feel that it's a last resort, a sign of desperation. This is hardly the case - it's the one of the fastest growing industries and an overwhelming majority of singles have tried at least one site.

But what surprises me most is the number of people who proclaim to be too busy for online dating. As one man told me, "out of about 20 dates, you might have one good one. Those aren't good enough odds."

When I asked him about other ways he meets people, he mentioned going to the traditional pick-up locations: bars and clubs. I asked him how that was going for him, and he admitted that his social life was pretty lousy. He keeps meeting women who are "gold-diggers" or who aren't interested in anything serious.

"So what have you got to lose with online dating?" I asked him. "I think your chances are a hundred times better for meeting someone special. It's all about your approach and attitude, and sharing what you really want."

And that's where I got the most resistance. He has a high-powered career, and so doesn't like to "waste a lot of time" when he dates. He'd rather wait around for an amazing woman to one day knock on his door and present herself, with no effort on his part. Unfortunately, relationships don't happen this way. They take time and nurturing. The problem with his inactive method of dating is that he's attracting the women who aren't interested in getting to know him past his outward appearance and profession.

While online dating does take some dedication and persistence - because not every date is going to go well - it's definitely worth the effort. Ask yourself this question: if you don't have time to date, how can you have time for a relationship? If you're only looking for someone to be convenient for your schedule, there isn't much chance of the relationship growing and deepening. Therefore, you limit yourself to the gold-diggers and people looking for short-term flings.

Set your sights bigger. Make time for your love life like you make time for your career. It's only when you allow love the space to come in that it actually will.