Are You Sending Mixed Messages?

Since dating can be a roller coaster of ups and downs, sometimes we fall into patterns without realizing it. We may put up walls to keep people from hurting us, or we may wear our hearts on our sleeve and provide dates with a bit too much information when we're just getting to know each other.

We all have our bad habits, so it's best to be aware of them when you're dating. Especially if you're unintentionally sending mixed messages, and can't understand why you aren't able to find someone special.

For instance, let's say you have a great first few dates with someone you met online, and you really like him. But you're also careful, as you've been hurt before when you've acted too eager. So you play it cool, and tell him you're not looking for anything serious, even though you are.

Unfortunately, this tactic can work against you. First, you are letting your fear dictate your reactions. If you've had commitment issues with men in the past, leave them in the past. Don't assume every man is going to disappoint you. Each date should be started with a clean slate.

It's best to be honest with yourself and your date. He's just getting to know you, so you can't assume he can read between the lines if you tell him you want to keep things casual and date other people, when really you just want to date him. He may just think you're not that into him. Instead of playing it cool, let him know you're interested. (This doesn't mean bringing up marriage or future plans after date three though...have some discretion!) It's okay to flirt, make plans, and most importantly, enjoy yourself while you're dating. It's supposed to be fun. Let him know you like spending time with him, and want to continue.

If you aren't sure about someone you're dating and whether you want a relationship, it's okay to keep dating and see what happens. Many daters assume that if you don't feel instant chemistry then you aren't suitable, but this is far from the case. It's important to get to know someone and enjoy the time you spend together. This is what dating is all about. But remember to be respectful: communication is key when dating. Don't assume you and your date are on the same page. If you want a relationship to progress, again, let him know you're interested. If not, be sure to let him know sooner than later.