Are You Dating an Angry Person?

Sometimes we can get swept up in passion. It's attractive when another person is funny, smart and passionate - but what happens when these initial attractors fade away and you're witness to the angry person underneath? How do you differentiate when it's just a one-time thing, or if this is a bad behavior pattern? What can you do to address it?

Anger is an emotion that shouldn't be taken lightly. Some people have a low tolerance and little patience, and can easily lash out when things don't go their way. For instance, have you been with a date who loses it when his order is messed up, or he can't find a good parking spot? Do the little things seem to bother her to the point where you can't enjoy a conversation without a litany of complaints? Are you afraid to have a frank conversation with this person?

Anger is an emotion all of us feel from time to time, but when it takes control of another person, it can be scary and overwhelming. Tip-toeing around the problem can only make it worse. Following are some ways of dealing with an angry date:

Pick up on clues. If your date gets angry fairly early on in your relationship, proceed with caution. I once dated a man who spoke sarcastically all the time - about politics, his job, and a number of other things - and at first I found him funny, smart and charming. Then I learned he had a chip on his shoulder. However, when I tried to coax him out of his anger or argue a point, he became anything but charming. He turned his anger and sarcastic comments on me. I knew without a doubt that managing his anger was an issue, so I broke it off.

Manage expectations. Let your date know from the beginning where you stand as far as your relationships go to avoid any misunderstandings. For instance, if you're only looking for a casual fling, let her know upfront. Let her know if you're dating other people. The more truthful you are, the better for you in the long run to avoid any misunderstandings or "crazy girlfriend" scenarios.

Don't assume you're immune to the anger. If your date likes to pick fights with others, chances are he'll eventually pick fights with you. An angry person doesn't discriminate based on romance or a relationship - everyone is fair game, so don't make yourself vulnerable to this.

Be willing to walk away. Don't try to "fix" your date. Anger is a risky thing, and if you become the target of verbal incriminations after a while you'll be worn down and start to believe them. Be strong and walk away if someone is belittling you or being at all disrespectful. You deserve better.