Are You A Clingy Date?

When I ask my friends to tell me about their dating dealbreakers, I get a range of responses. Anna will only date fellow vegetarians. Jack refuses to date women who do not share his political affiliation. Jenna won't date smokers, Michael will only date people who want children, and Jess has a strong aversion to men with beards. Dealbreakers are as diverse as those who use them to separate partners with potential from dates that are doomed to be disasters.

One dealbreaker, however, is on almost every list: clinginess.

Few things kill attraction faster than a needy partner, so before you pick up your phone to check in with your sweetie for the 5th time in the last three hours, hit the pause button and ask yourself: Am I a clingy date? Here are 5 signs you're guilty of this top turnoff:

1. You've adopted all of your partner's interests. Being curious about your partner's hobbies and pastimes is normal. It's natural and healthy to want to learn more about each other, and in the process you'll likely discover some new interests and a few other things that you're definitely not interested in pursuing. Taken too far, however, this kind of curiosity becomes obsession. If you catch yourself doing things that you dislike or find boring, just so that you can spend more time with your date, it's time to take a few steps back from the relationship.

2. You communicate constantly. Good communication is an asset to every relationship, but don't make the mistake of confusing "communicating well" with "communicating continuously." Over-communication is a clear sign of relationship-ruining clinginess. In an age in which communication is easy and practically instantaneous - email, instant messages, texting - it can be tempting to be in constant contact with a partner, but resist the urge to check in every 10 minutes.

3. You invade your partner's privacy. People in a relationship share many things with each other, but they are not obligated to share everything. Ask questions about your date's life, but don't bombard them with so many queries that they suddenly feel like they're being cross-examined in court, and never cross the boundaries of reading their text messages or hacking into their email account.

4. You do not take time to lead your own life, or give your partner space. Every couple - no matter how much they're in love or how long they've been together - needs to take time apart. Give your partner space to be alone, to see family and other friends, to pursue separate interests, and to grow. Give yourself the same thing.

5. You let fears and worries get the better of you. If you find yourself worrying constantly that your partner is being unfaithful or is thinking about dumping you, you've entered full-blown clinger territory. A relationship can only last when it's based on respect and trust.

If these clingy behaviors have worked their way into your relationship, consider the reason. Is something wrong with the relationship itself, or is it an internal issue that you need to deal with? Once you've identified the source of your clinginess, you can work to eliminate it.