An Uncommon Common Interest

When it comes to finding someone with whom you’ll hit it off, the best and most obvious place to start is common interests. However, that doesn’t mean you both have to like knitting or badminton, or have careers in the same field. Sometimes you have to look a little deeper for that common link.

You never know in what direction that common thread will be, so when you start your custom searches, think in broad terms. Maybe you don’t want to date a colleague, but perhaps, if you’re a chemist, someone who’s generally in the science world might be a good place to start. Or maybe it’s just that they like to do their own “science experiments” with baking. Having professional interests that are complementary (or even one partner in a professional capacity, and one with a hobby) can take a conversation in unexpected places - and then perhaps you’ll find even more in common.

However, you don’t have to bring work home if you don’t want to. If you work in a very specific field, or you’re not actually interested in thinking about it in your off time, the sections about favorite books, TV shows and movies might be a good place to start. Sure, some might find it frivolous, but these sections can be quite telling. You can get a sense of their sense of humor, their intellectual tastes, and simply who they “are” in their off time. Don’t get hung up on small points; whether they liked or have seen your very favorite movie might be less important than the fact that they’ve even heard of it, or that you seem to laugh at the same things.

Sometimes the similarities aren’t immediately apparent at the first glance of a profile, but the real compatibility clues lie in the way you approach life. It’s all well to have someone who knows the all the characters on your favorite TV show, but sometimes less fun factors, like what you want out of life and how you handle adversity, are the ones that make or break a relationship. Compatibility at this level can be harder to spot, so it’s going to require more careful reading than a quick scan. If you come across a profile with an attractive person that just gives you a good, comfortable vibe without anything you can put your finger on, send that first-contact email! What have you got to lose by stepping outside your box?

Obviously, most people try to search for someone with a common interest; however, they might not realize all the various ways in which you can have something in common. Don’t stress if you don’t have a laundry list of similarities; if you’re inherently compatible, whatever you know about one another will become a mere jumping-off point for the conversation. At the same time, try to broaden your search, and look for unconventional ways in which you might share something to talk about - you might be delighted with what you find!