Acting Like Yourself
- Sunday, January 01 2012 @ 02:53 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,080
Perhaps you’re fairly new to the world of online dating, and you’re preparing to go on a first date. Most dating tips revolve around being genuine; you want to be yourself as much as possible, because particularly in online dating, people are even more on the alert for the merest hint of a lie.
That’s all well and good for people who have a natural reserve of confidence - something that might be difficult to access, but can be found when its needed. But what about people who truly have very little self-confidence? Or perhaps crippling shyness? They might have a genuinely fantastic personality, but it’s stifled by some kind of social awkwardness or insecurity. For them, perhaps the very thing that allows them to reveal the great person inside is a little bit of lying - or, to put it more accurately, acting.
“Wait a minute,” you might be saying. “Acting? That’s pretending to be someone else, not myself! How is that genuine?” Well, the mind is a tricky thing. For some people, just pretending they’re a different version of themselves - one with confidence in their abilities, one who won’t let their shyness get the best of them - is enough to power them through the awkward first moments and allow them to relax.
The key here is to remember that you’re acting as a more confident version of yourself - and you’re not pretending to be someone else entirely. No lying about the details of your life; the performance is pretty much all in your head. There’s a phrase that gets thrown around nowadays: “Fake it ‘til you make it.” In this case, you’re acting like someone who has increased confidence; perhaps over time the line will blur between performance and reality.
Like all performances, this is one that is best rehearsed before “opening night.” To find out if this works for you, try it out in various situations - at work, while you’re doing errands around town. It might be especially helpful to try this with a group of friends - they can tell you if you’re doing anything strange (like, for instance, using a “Shakespearean actor” accent!). It can be a fun experiment - and if it works for you, you can utilize it in those stressful situations.
It’s important to be yourself on a first date, but some people need a little help to reveal their true personalities. If you’re feeling trapped behind your nerves, pretending that you’re someone who has none might be just the ticket in setting yourself free.
That’s all well and good for people who have a natural reserve of confidence - something that might be difficult to access, but can be found when its needed. But what about people who truly have very little self-confidence? Or perhaps crippling shyness? They might have a genuinely fantastic personality, but it’s stifled by some kind of social awkwardness or insecurity. For them, perhaps the very thing that allows them to reveal the great person inside is a little bit of lying - or, to put it more accurately, acting.
“Wait a minute,” you might be saying. “Acting? That’s pretending to be someone else, not myself! How is that genuine?” Well, the mind is a tricky thing. For some people, just pretending they’re a different version of themselves - one with confidence in their abilities, one who won’t let their shyness get the best of them - is enough to power them through the awkward first moments and allow them to relax.
The key here is to remember that you’re acting as a more confident version of yourself - and you’re not pretending to be someone else entirely. No lying about the details of your life; the performance is pretty much all in your head. There’s a phrase that gets thrown around nowadays: “Fake it ‘til you make it.” In this case, you’re acting like someone who has increased confidence; perhaps over time the line will blur between performance and reality.
Like all performances, this is one that is best rehearsed before “opening night.” To find out if this works for you, try it out in various situations - at work, while you’re doing errands around town. It might be especially helpful to try this with a group of friends - they can tell you if you’re doing anything strange (like, for instance, using a “Shakespearean actor” accent!). It can be a fun experiment - and if it works for you, you can utilize it in those stressful situations.
It’s important to be yourself on a first date, but some people need a little help to reveal their true personalities. If you’re feeling trapped behind your nerves, pretending that you’re someone who has none might be just the ticket in setting yourself free.
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