5 Online Dating Lessons I Learned From Horror Movies

I've written before about how much I love Halloween, especially the horror movies that inevitably fill my Netflix queue each fall.

I've heard a fair deal of horror film criticism over the years, from “It just gives crazy people ideas” to “There must be something wrong with anyone who actually likes watching this stuff.” I always take it in stride, but this year, finally, I have a rebuttal: horror films are dating advice in disguise.

Really? Yes, really.

Dating can be a terrifying experience, so what better place to seek dating advice than scary movies? I'm not talking about any kind of deep, soul-searching wisdom here...but horror movies do have some practical dating advice to offer (in addition to the nightmares that'll plague you for a week after watching).

1. Know your surroundings. Dark alleys, deserted forests, and dirt roads in the middle of nowhere rarely end well in scary movies, and they don't make good date spots either. Choose a public place you're familiar with for a first date, where you feel safe and comfortable and can easily exit if you want to. If you absolutely must travel to somewhere new, make sure your car is in a good shape, has ample gas, and is equipped with a working GPS.
2. Use the buddy system. So many horror film tragedies could have been prevented if only a wannabe hero hadn't struck out on his/her own. I'm not saying all your dates need to be double dates (though they could be if you want an added layer of security), but it never hurts to alert a friend about your whereabouts. Let them know who you're with, where you're going, and how long you plan to be together – just in case.
3. Watch for red flags. How often do you find yourself screaming at the screen, trying to worn a doomed character about the disaster that's obviously going to befall them? If there's one major weakness of horror movie characters, it's this: they're terrible at reading the signs. Keep your eyes open and your guard up, because sometimes the red flags are right in front of you.
4. Dress appropriately. Scream queens are never appropriately dressed for fighting for their lives. Running in heels? Not a chance – definitely zombie bait. Your dates won't involve anything quite so athletic (or undead), but it's still a tip worth taking: dress in something stylish but comfortable. The more at-home you are in your clothes, the better you'll feel – and the better you feel, the more likely you are to wow your date.
5. Go with your gut. Go ahead and judge a book by its cover. That dude brandishing a machete in his profile photo? Maybe not your best bet. If a profile gives you the creeps, trust your instincts and move on.