Tips

When I was single, I most of my free time with other single friends. My married friends were always a bit more encumbered with work and their partners. When they started having children, getting together became even more elusive, so soon I stopped trying and let them reach out to me.

Now that I am married, I find it more difficult to schedule impromptu meetings with my friends. I'm making a concerted effort however to maintain these friendships and our connection, because I know how it felt to be last on the priority list when I was single. Following are some tips to keep your friendships strong while you're dating or enjoying a new relationship.

Make time to talk on the phone. Maybe it's hard to get together in person, but keep in touch over the phone. Call on your commute to or from work, or schedule time to talk with your friends. Don't cut the calls short because your partner is home or you're killing time waiting for him to arrive. Make sure you have time set aside to have real conversations.

Don't bring your partner on all your get-togethers. This may seem obvious, but when you're in love, you want to spend all your time together. Even time set aside to spend with your friends. Instead of bringing your partner along when you're meeting a single friend, go solo. You don't have to do everything with your partner, and it helps you to have independence as well as a new life you're trying to build together.

Engage with your friends. Maybe you feel more distracted now when you get together with friends, especially if you don't relate to their current dating problems like you used to. Your friends don't necessarily want advice from you, they want your friendship and understanding. Listen to what they have to say. Remember to be a friend first and foremost.

Continue to build your life outside of your relationship. In the beginning it's easy to let your routine slide when you're swept up in feelings of romance. Career can wait, the gym can wait...and of course, friends can wait. But this isn't healthy in the long run. After a couple of months of being swept up, it's time to re-establish your own life as well. Do things for yourself, including having alone time, exercising, eating right, and nourishing your friendships.

Everyone knows that first impressions count...but what exactly makes a good first impression on a date? Is it your ability to choose the perfect Indian restaurant? Is it your skill on the mini golf course? Is it your smooth way of getting your arm around her shoulders at the movie theatre by pretending you're stretching?

Although I'm sure some women will be impressed by your ability to sink a ball into a clown's mouth through a rotating windmill, the secret to making a killer impression on a first date goes far beyond your putting prowess. Here are 3 tips for scoring a second date:

1. Think outside the dinner-and-a-movie box. Dinner dates are fine, but very high pressure. Think about it: does sitting across from one another, with nothing better to do than watch each other chew and stress out over coming up with new conversation topics, really sound like a fun, memorable first date? No, it doesn't.

Instead, do something that shows that you know who your date is. Ask yourself what you've gotten to know about her so far - What does she enjoy doing? What are a few of her likes and dislikes? What is she passionate about? Planning a date that is tailored to her interests is the first step in making an unforgettable impression.

2. Have a plan. Nothing says 'boring' quite like asking a woman on a date, then asking her what she wants to do. Utilize her input if she volunteers it, but don't leave the planning up to her if she doesn't. Making a plan and implementing it puts a host of attractive qualities on display, like confidence and decisiveness.

Tip #1 comes in here, too. Making a plan - a plan to do something that's really in tune with who she is, that says that you "get" her - shows that you've listened to everything she's told you about herself, and that you're genuinely interested in that person.

3. Arrange a second date. I know, I know...that seems obvious. But you'd be surprised by how many people wind up stuck at the first date because they fail to follow up properly. If you had a good time, and she had a good time, why wait? Ask her out again at the end of the first date - and bonus points for inviting her to do something related to your conversation during date one.

A good first date can be summed up in just a few words: leadership, creativity, and confidence.

When it comes to dating, all we have to go on are first impressions. So, it's important to put your best foot forward when meeting anyone for the first time. Following are some reminders to help you make the best impression possible:

Keep your excitement in check. Maybe you've been chatting over email or the phone and you're boiling over with excitement about meeting your date. You think that you have a "great connection." As wonderful as this sounds, it's important to keep your expectations in check. You haven't met, and being with someone in person is a lot different from communicating over email or phone. You don't want to come across as aggressive or needy. You may not even be attracted to your date. Take things slowly and don't jump to conclusions about how things will progress. Let it happen naturally.

Play it cool. This is along the lines of the first tip, but just a reminder: don't tell a woman multiple times how beautiful you think she is. This can be considered overkill. It's nice to compliment someone, but don't take it to an extreme, you'll only alienate her and make her wonder if you're sincere. And women: accept a compliment graciously. Don't read into it.

Explain yourself well. Chances are, your date has read your online profile and done a little Google research before meeting you. If there's something you regret saying or doing and it shows up online, be prepared to state your case. (This goes for after meeting, too...don't be tempted to post a comment about your date on your Facebook wall.) Any good employer does reference checks, so it's only natural that your date does, too.

Engage with your date. Let him know you're enjoying yourself by smiling, laughing, and asking him questions about what interests him. This isn't a job interview, but it is a chance to get to know someone by talking with him.

Keep it light. I've spoken about this a lot, but I think it's the most important tip to remember because it's so easy to forget when we get wrapped up in conversation. On a first date, even if you feel a connection, this doesn't give you an excuse to talk about your ex, your political beliefs, or anything else that can invoke your anger or frustration. Respect your date and keep conversation light. Nobody wants to be a therapist or punching bag on a first date.

Know who you are and what you want. You don't have to be aggressive about it, but your date wants to know what your plans are for your career, what your interests are, etc. so be prepared to answer. If you don't know what you want to do, or even what you like doing, they might question your seriousness about dating and life in general. Don't be afraid to let your date know if you're in transition, but let him know where you plan on going.

Fairytales have schooled us women from the beginning: be patient and a prince will come to rescue us from our otherwise unfulfilled lives, making us truly happy. As we grow older we recognize that relationships don't work this way in real life, but we continue to long for someone who will provide us with the same sense of security and romantic love that we first found in fairytales.

For instance, how many of us have put off that trip to Italy because we want to do it with a boyfriend or husband? How many of us settle in our boring jobs because we are afraid to start our own businesses by ourselves? How many of us get wistful at the thought of finding that one special person who can truly make us happy?

I'm willing to guess most of us have felt this way at one time or another. While we savor our independence and ability to choose our partners, we also spend a lot of time waiting for the right person to come along instead of taking charge and accomplishing the things we want for ourselves.

Following are some tips to help you stop waiting and start moving forward:

Create your own happiness. It's a difficult concept to realize that we are responsible for our own happiness. We wait for the right person to come along, thinking he will make us happy. Rather than expecting someone else to do it for you, recognize that you create happiness in your own life. Pursue your passions; enjoy the moment. When you are passionate about something, it builds your confidence, enthusiasm, and outlook. (And by the way, this creates positive energy and attracts people to you.)

Lighten up. Having a sense of humor is a very attractive quality. When you can laugh and stop taking yourself so seriously, others will feel more comfortable and open around you. This openness allows love to happen.

Be courageous. Sure, it's risky to do new things. Whether you would love to go on that bike riding tour around France or build a new online business, it takes guts to go it alone. But taking these types of risks is what opens our lives to new possibilities. If we don't take these chances now, when can we? It's much harder to make choices for yourself when you have a husband and kids in the picture. When you're single, it's the best time to live for you. Have courage.

Take a break. Sometimes we don't feel attractive or lovable, but rest assured, we are! Take time out to remind yourself that you are worthy. Pamper yourself if you need to, or gather with friends for a fun weekend. Sometimes, taking a quick break can remind us of our strength and abilities. When we have a fresh outlook, it's easy to feel confident and to make things happen in our lives.

Before we head into summer with its barbeques and beach parties to take advantage of, why not see what spring has to offer?

Spring is the season of new starts and new life. Whether you're online dating and another coffee shop date is just too boring to consider, or a new relationship has got you inspired, following are some interesting date ideas that take advantage of the season. It's time to think outside the box!

Go for a hike. In the summer it can often be too hot to try hiking. But the spring is a perfect time...the flowers are in bloom and it's usually cool and sunny. Enjoy a hike close to you, or impress your date with a little day trip out to the country. Either way, it's great to be outdoors and enjoy what's around you.

Biking for two. Since we're taking advantage of the weather, now is a great time to dust off your bike and find a great spot to ride with your date. There's no need to get fancy and mountain bike unless you are both experienced...try a boardwalk excursion ending with a drink or lunch, or perhaps a nice neighborhood with wide roads and lots of trees. Stop at a local market to grab wine and cheese for picnic in the park.

Flowers, anyone? Whether you take a trip to your local botanical garden or a poppy field in the country, there are usually some great options to see spring flowers in full bloom. It's a romantic setting, perfect for sharing a picnic and enjoying the view.

Visit the zoo. Spring is a time for renewal and new life, which means it's the best time to see the baby monkeys, lions, bears, and gorillas making their debut at your local zoo. It's a fun way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Hit the road. Before the summer arrives and beaches and lakes get packed with summer vacationers, why not take advantage of the lull and plan a daytime excursion? Whether you visit a forest, lake, mountains, or wildflower field, there is something of nature to see within driving distance (or train ride) from where you live.

Take me out to the ball game. I'm not a huge sports fan, but I do like baseball games. There's something about being in a ballpark full of fans that reminds me of happy summer nights when I was a kid. Why not take a date to an afternoon or evening game?

Happy dating!

It's hard to tell sometimes whether or not you're on a date. If a man calls or texts to ask you to "hang out" does that mean he's romantically inclined, or is it a friendship-based thing? Sometimes we are even afraid to ask what's going on.

If you find yourself hanging out a lot with guys, but unsure of whether this constitutes a date, following are some ways to tell the difference. After all, if you're interested in a man, there should be dating involved, or else you're both just wasting time. Hold him to some standards.

He makes plans in advance. If a man calls you and asks if you can get together in the next half hour, this is not a date. You are a Plan B because his first choice fell through. Same thing if he texts you at midnight to come over and hang out. This isn't a chivalrous gesture to romantically seduce you, it's a booty call. If he schedules with you in advance and has a place to go, this is indeed a real date.

He doesn't include his friends. If he calls and asks you out only to meet up with four of his best buddies, rest assured that this is not a date. It's great that he wants to introduce you to his friends, but if you find yourself without any alone time when you're together, it's likely that romance isn't on his mind.

He compliments you and flirts. If a man is interested, usually he tries to show it. He will tell you how attractive he finds you, or how pretty you look. If he doesn't express his interest, he may think of you only as a buddy.

He reaches out to you. If he makes a point of calling and texting you to get together, likely he is interested. When you find yourself doing all the work, you may want to reconsider your relationship.

He pays for the date. If he reaches for his wallet to grab the check for dinner or drinks, then likely he sees you as a date rather than just a friend. So if you're not interested, let him know.

The best strategy is to be honest with yourself and with your love interest. If you're afraid to ask him directly if you are dating or if you're just friends, then you will drive yourself crazy trying to read into all of the signals he may or may not send. Do yourself a favor: ask him if it's a date. After all, you're worth it.