Technology

If you are a millennial, chances are you’ve heard of an app called Venmo, even if you haven’t downloaded it. It’s a peer to peer app owned by PayPal that lets you split things like cab fares and utility bills, to make it easier to share expenses among roommates, family and friends.

But now, there’s a phenomenon reported by The New York Post that claims Venmo is being used by stingy daters to get out of picking up the check.

When you have a Venmo account, it can be linked to a bank account or debit card, or you can keep money directly in your Venmo account to draw from (much like PayPal). The app allows you to connect with people so you can easily split expenses for things like a birthday gift or sharing a hotel room with friends when you go on vacation together.

But daters are starting to take advantage of this app, too. Guys are inviting their dates out to dinner or drinks, paying for it initially, and then after the couple says their goodbyes at the end of the night, the guy sends a Venmo request to ask the girls to cover their half of the bill.

It’s a passive aggressive way of simply asking to split the check. The guy gets to look good buy pretending to buy the drinks while he’s face to face with his date, but then he backs out as soon as she’s gone. This is a good tactic for men who aren’t interested in a second date.

The good news? The dates who are sent the Venmo request for payment can refuse to pay.

Money and dating has always been a sensitive topic in dating. Many men wonder if it’s appropriate to ask to split the check, or if the woman should offer to go dutch. Guys also worry they will look cheap if they don’t pick up the tab, but if they can’t afford this ritual 2-3 nights per week, it can get awkward.

Still, Venmo makes it easy for people to get away with some bad dating behavior. Instead of being upfront and honest about splitting the check, they are avoiding any type of direct confrontation or conflict. It would be much simpler to avoid any confused, hurt feelings if he was upfront and asked his date to split the check before they part ways.

It is similar to the influence texting has had on dating behavior. Texting has made avoidant behavior easier. Instead of having a difficult or uncomfortable conversation in person or over the phone, daters are instead choosing to “ghost” their dates by simply not returning any messages, hoping their dates get the hint that they aren’t interested.

Using Venmo is another avoidance tactic in dating – please, just ask to split the check.

Mixing politics and dating isn’t always the best idea, but one thing’s for sure: politicians want to encourage young people to vote and be politically active. So what better way to connect with them than on their own turf?

At least, this is the thinking behind UK Prime Minister David Cameron’s latest move. He joined Tinder last month, not to date, but to connect with millennials, who are a target voting market. He met with leading tech companies earlier to try a new approach that would engage young voters.

Reports claim he has joined Tinder to encourage young people to vote in the EU referendum, amid fears many aren’t registered. The plan with Tinder is that Cameron will place advertisements that resemble dating profiles as part of the electoral registration drive.

Does this seem deceptive to people on Tinder who are looking to meet dates, not to engage in politics? Perhaps, but this isn’t the first time dating apps have gotten political.

Earlier this year, Swipe The Vote asked Tinder users 10 questions designed to assess their political preferences for issues like same-sex marriage, immigration and fracking. And when Bernie Sanders supporters on Facebook noticed a trend of Bernie fans looking to meet each other, a new dating site called Bernie Singles was born. Now, there’s even a dating app for Trump opponents called Maple Dating, which offers eligible Canadian matches to Americans who want to leave the country.

So what does all this mean? Are dating apps getting more political? Should dating and politics mix? It’s murky ground, but one thing is for sure. Politicians wanting to capture the attention of young voters have to think outside of normal ad campaigns. And if setting up a dating profile on Tinder works to engage your audience, then why not meet them where they are?

Bumble has gotten in on the political action, too. It now allows its users to declare which Presidential candidate they support, and to filter those who disagree accordingly. JSwipe also has features that let you filter according to political persuasion. And while most daters are willing to date across party lines, they have their limits. The polarization of American politics is getting more personal, where people who are staunch supporters of particular polarizing candidates – like Trump – or specific issues, like those that deal with LGBTQ laws – do not want to date those who disagree with them.

So where does that leave us? Dating culture reflects our shifting values and politics, so it’s only natural that in a controversial Presidential election season, we become more engaged in political discussion. But hopefully after November, you can date a little easier.

For more on this dating app you can read our Tinder review

Ghosting is becoming a familiar term in dating. It’s a passive-aggressive way of breaking up with someone, where one partner goes completely silent by not returning calls or answering texts, offering a not-so-subtle rejection of their partner. While this behavior existed long before dating apps were created, it’s only become more common as dating apps have taken off.

A recent survey confirms this trend. Dating website Plenty of Fish (POF), one of the largest dating sites in the world, surveyed 800 Millennials between ages 18-33 in both the U.S. and Canada to understand attitudes and behavior patterns among young daters. Results of the survey showed that an overwhelming majority - 80% of Millennials - have at some point in their dating lives been ghosted.

There are many reasons behind the trend of ghosting. Dating apps do make it easier, since people can be anonymous. Most daters don’t have mutual friends in common when they meet over apps, so they aren’t really held accountable for their actions or behavior. It’s also much easier to ghost someone you may not know very well instead of confronting them directly. The assumption is that it’s easier to ghost someone than than to reject him outright (like it's easier to text than to call), or that the relationship was a casual one and therefore it’s “not a big deal” to just let it disappear.

In fact, “ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, and daters know it will happen. Fifteen percent of survey respondents admitted to scheduling multiple dates in one night, assuming that at least one date wouldn’t work out.

Some other interesting trends the survey discovered:

There’s no “Dating Apocalypse”: Contrary to popular belief, an overwhelming majority - 75% of millennials - use dating apps because they’re looking for a serious relationship. Forty-nine percent identified “just looking to hookup” as the biggest misconception about singles under the age of 30.

Financial difficulties factor into dating and relationships: According to the study, 30% of millennials live at home with their parents, and not surprisingly, 50% say this living situation negatively impacts their love life.

Savvy Singles: 50% millennial singles over the age of 24 have already been dating online for 5 years or more, with the majority of respondents currently using more than one dating app. Twenty-three percent visit an online dating site or app 3-5 times every day. If a date goes well, 20% of millennials won’t even wait one day to set up a second date.

Millenials aren’t just looking for hook-ups and are serious about finding relationships, which is good news. However, many dating app users need a few lessons when it comes to improving their dating behavior. Ghosting isn't the best way to end a new relationship.

For more information on this dating service you can read our POF review.

There’s no doubt that Tinder has changed online dating. Instead of checking profiles on our laptops in the privacy of our homes, Tinder has turned swiping and judging potential dates into a game that people share openly. In fact, it’s become an addiction for some. Even when they meet a date they like, that they want to keep swiping and seeing who else is out there.

In fact, having so many choices has turned us into dating “robots,” according to one essay in The New Inquiry. That is, on Tinder, people mindlessly swipe. Perhaps they message a few people, or arrange to go out on a few dates, but the intention when using Tinder is not to focus on building a relationship, but on swiping. In fact, they argue that being on Tinder is promoting the idea of being “chill” and conveying to your dates that you have no expectations with a date leading to anything (even if you do).

In fact, being “chill” is such a prominent part of dating app culture, that people have essentially taught themselves that their feelings should be removed from the equation, in order to be open to even more opportunities. More is better, right? Online daters have become “emotionally disassociated,” as the authors of “Tinderization of Feeling” argue, simply because it’s so emotionally draining to look at so many photos, have so many options – because what happens if you make the wrong choice? What happens if you emotionally invest in a date only to have them reject you?

Today, rejection seems almost intolerable, though rejection historically has been a natural part of dating. But if you make the date feel more casual – i.e. a “hang” or just meeting someone for 20 minutes before you start swiping again – there's no real rejection. You will always be looking for the next, better option, instead of having regret over not dating someone. Because….what if there’s someone better?

The authors of The New Inquiry article argue the problem all comes down to having too many choices. They say: “Living with a sense of overwhelming choice means exerting an insane amount of emotional energy in making the most banal decisions.” People can barely make a decision about what to watch on Netflix, there are so many options…it’s no different with dating. So with Tinder, the swiping becomes a game, because we don’t leave any room for more complexity and the intricacies involved with getting to know someone and developing true feeling for them – we don’t know how to deal with a potential date beyond the yes/no initial factor.

So, swipe, message, meet, maybe sleep with, then move on becomes the norm.

But you can choose differently. You can have control over how you want to date by taking more time and getting to know your dates. By rejecting the yes/no one-second response time of Tinder in favor of a more considered approach. What if you took your time, and invested emotionally in the potential of one of your dates? What if you took a risk?

Love doesn't just happen without effort, without risk. If you want to keep swiping and dating, you'll probably end up in a series of unfulfilling, emotionless flings. But if you put yourself out there? The rewards and risks are much greater. But isn't that the point of love?

There is a better and more effective way to date. You just have to be willing to get past all the swiping and figure it out in person, on a real date. You have to be willing to risk rejection - real rejection - as well as love.

For more about this dating app, please read our review of Tinder.

We talk about heartache when love is lost. We talk about hearts fluttering when love is found. We send heart emojis and heart-shaped Valentine's and make hand hearts on Instagram. We're heart-obsessed.

It was only a matter of time before someone harnessed that obsession, added a little science, and tied it to another popular obsession: health and fitness. That someone is Once, a new dating app that uses your heart rate to determine your heart's mate.

Once, which can now be integrated with Fitbit and Android Wear, shows users a single potential suitor each day. The matches are curated by actual human matchmakers, who work their magic by reviewing your profile and the profiles of people you've liked in the past. When you're given your daily match, you have 24 hours to make a move before the match expires.

A recent article in The Wall Street  Journal pointed out the importance of using correct grammar in your online dating profile. According to surveys done in recent years by dating websites OkCupid and Match.com, grammar is by far one of the most important aspects of an online dating profile. If you mix up “your” and “you’re,” many daters will move on to the next.

But why is this? Aren’t people more concerned with great photos, as we’ve seen with apps like Tinder and Grindr? Why should online daters care about how people write – it isn’t necessarily an indication of who they are in real life or how great a match they would be. Besides, aren’t most daters attracted to physical appearances rather than writing style?

Apparently not. Match.com found that 88% of women and 75% of men in their survey of 5,000 singles said they cared about grammar most, putting it ahead of a person’s confidence and teeth.

The WSJ attributed this trend to the rise of dating apps and the common use of text slang, with abbreviations like YOLO (You only Live Once) replacing standard phrasing and sentences. While messaging has now become more of a convenience than an art, grammar has fallen by the wayside, and one way to make yourself stand out among the millions of other daters out there is to approach communicating with someone as though you put in some effort. After all, most dating apps don’t require much more effort than a swipe.

In other words, think about your professional life and how much time and care you put in to communication with your bosses and co-workers. When you send an email to a group of work colleagues, chances are you spell-checked it before pressing the “send” key, and most likely it isn’t filled with acronyms for every common phrase. If you apply the same protocol to online dating, it might seem a bit formal at first, but it definitely scores you more points. The person receiving your message is more likely to take you seriously because it looks like you have put in more time and effort.

In other words, you come across as smart and caring. Thoughtfulness goes a long way.

Grammar has been important in the online dating scene for a while, even before the popularity of texting and dating apps made bad grammar much more common. Dating websites like Match and eHarmony encouraged users to use complete sentences in their profiles and check for spelling errors. Wouldn’t you be turned off if someone you didn’t know turned in a report or emailed you with a couple of brief sentences, rife with misspellings?

A little effort goes a long way.