Match Group

Some break-ups are worse than others, but all break-ups can take a toll on our mental and emotional state. How many times have you chosen to distract yourself from the pain and sadness you feel? Probably more than you think – sometimes by going out with friends, drinking, or having sex, and other times by throwing yourself into work, a hobby or a new fitness routine.

Now, more and more of us are turning to dating apps to swipe and feel that little “rush” from matching with a new profile or engaging in some flirtatious messaging. And why not? It’s healthy to flirt, to meet new people, right?

Not necessarily. Using dating apps as a distraction – to swipe through endless profiles – can work against you and delay the healing process after a break-up. As a writer for website Bustle described it: “An unexpected match with an attractive guy would briefly pull me out from under the cloud of sadness, and it validated my future dating potential in the most superficial way possible. At the time, I knew that it was wrong for the approval of random strangers to mean more to me than the unconditional support from my friends and family, but I didn't want to stop swiping: the next match could always be better than the last…After the fleeting glow from a witty text exchange faded, the positive feelings about myself did, too.”

Distracting ourselves isn’t always the best thing for getting over a break-up. Healing is a process – it’s good to feel your emotions and come to terms with your broken heart. Healthy transformation comes from this process of sitting with pain so we can let go and move on. Distraction only serves to delay our healing.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s good to throw yourself into something healthy, like joining a new running group or growing that garden you always wanted. But when you try and ignore your feelings, opting for quick fixes like the rush from swiping through a dating app, it can backfire.

The “high” you feel from superficial interaction is fleeting, and can leave you feeling worse than you did before – and more likely to swipe. In fact, swiping can become a validation exercise, rather than a healthy way to meet dates. You don’t want to confuse the app itself with your ability to connect with people.

Our self worth doesn’t come from how many matches or messages we get, or how many opportunities we have to meet new people. We have to feel grounded in ourselves – confident in our abilities, independence, and worthiness – rather than dependent on what others think – especially random strangers over text.

So next time you are tempted to login to Tinder after a break-up because you are in desperate need of distraction or validation, call your friend and go out for dinner instead. You’ll be happier and healthier in the long run.

Are you a Trump supporter looking for love? PlentyOfFish has some bad news for you.

The dating site recently surveyed more then 4000 American singles over the age of 18 to examine how love lives can be affected by political affiliation. It’s often said that politics (along with religion and exes) is not a first-date discussion, and POF’s research confirms it.

According to the data, singles are hesitant about dating someone with drastically different political views than their own. Twenty-five percent steadfastly refused to do so and thirty-one percent said they are unsure if they would even attempt it. Cross “the U.S. election” off your list of conversation topics if you don’t want to rock the boat.

Tinder, the swipe-for-matches dating app owned by IAC's The Match Group, is acquiring the startup behind the popular communication app Knock Knock.

The San Francisco-based startup, called Humin was founded by serial entrepreneur Ankur Jain and David Wyler in 2012. Humin's first product was a platform for managing contacts. Later the company launched Knock Knock, a stand-alone app that offers users options to connect with nearby individuals when they tap twice on their phone.

It’s not hard to see why Tinder would be interested in a company that fosters in-person interactions. Tinder has now inked a deal to acquire Humin's intellectual property, technology, and team (though Jain has given his employees the option to stay or leave). Jain will join Tinder as vice president of product, while Wyler will become the company's vice president of partnerships.

"It's clear that the team deeply believes in our vision and future plans," said Tinder's co-founder and CEO, Sean Rad, in a release. "We're excited to leverage their experience and IP to accelerate our product roadmap along with some other exciting projects we have in the works."

"What gets me stoked is that this [acquisition by Tinder] gives us the ability to do what we can do at scale," Jain said. "Dating is just one piece of Tinder's mission and vision."

The acquisition was likely in the works for some time. Tinder was in the market for an acquisition and Humin was struggling to raise further capital. Rad and Jain, who have known each other for years, finally discussed the possibility of joining forces last autumn.

"We talked about our visions for connecting people in the real world, and the challenges there we could solve," Jain told Inc. "It was kind of a shock, but he said 'we should think about an acquisition.'"

Exactly how Tinder plans to use Humin's technology is unclear, but speculation has been made that Humin’s background in contact management and location-based functionality will be used to evolve Tinder beyond the dating space. The app hopes to become a service with a broader mission of introducing people in real life, whether or not romance is in the cards.

Whatever the future holds, Jain is excited about it. "Tinder is on the cusp of massive growth because it's just starting to embrace the breadth of its mission of helping people meet and connect in the real world," he told Mashable. For more on the Tinder dating app please read our review.

According to The New York Times’ story last year on the current (and dismal) state of dating culture - dubbed the “Dating Apocalypse” - most Millennials using dating apps are just looking to hook up. In this feature story, we read several personal anecdotes from New York singles who were struggling with Tinder, ghosting, and meeting people who had a general lack of interest in serious relationships, which left us feeling like the world of online dating was scary and hopeless.

Turns out, this isn’t a very accurate portrayal of today’s dating culture.

A new study from one of the largest online dating services Plenty of Fish (POF) released a report this month based on over 800 survey respondents ages 18-33 (who also happen to be Millennials). These findings reveal that an overwhelming majority – 75% of Millennials to be exact – are looking for a serious relationship. This means, most are not looking for one-night stands, but real relationships.

In addition, another recent article in The New York Times flips this notion of hook-up culture on its head. Instead of taking Tinder to task for promoting hook-ups in dating, the reporter interviewed couples who had met on Tinder and later married, and even some couples who were expecting their first child after meeting over the notorious app. The conclusion is that Tinder is much more than a hook-up app, and yields successful matches for many members despite its reputation.

Tinder has been associated with hook-ups and the downfall of dating culture, but single people gravitate to it to meet people outside of their own social circles. It is the app with the largest user base, the app that most people have heard of, and because of its unique position, most people are willing to give it a try – simply because there are so many people using it.

The irony is, while some people are using it as a hook-up app, the majority of daters – including Millennials - are using it to seek out serious relationships. Despite the media claim that daters are stuck in a “casual dating” culture whether they like it or not, singles these days are still looking for good old-fashioned love. Dating apps are just a way of finding the right person, despite the superficial methods of swiping left or right based on a few photos.

Dating app culture might just be about convenience – we are always on our phones, and it’s easier to just swipe through photos rather than spending hours reading lengthy profiles. In fact, most of the long-standing dating sites have now launched apps that are more convenient and user-friendly, with photos front and center.

So the next time you are hesitant to try a dating app because you think that people are only looking for hook-ups, remember that 75% of the people you swipe through are looking for love, just like you. For more on the dating services mentioned you can read our POF review and our Tinder review.

Norway’s consumer authority has spoken out against Tinder’s current terms and conditions by filing a formal complaint against the company.

The Norwegian Consumer Council insists that the popular dating app is not protecting its users, granting sweeping ownership rights and control over users’ data. Some of the terms and conditions Tinder users agree to when downloading the app include allowing Tinder change its terms without notifying users, and allowing the app to delete users’ accounts without justification. The Council also points out that users aren’t allowed to delete their own accounts if they want to (which could allow Tinder to inflate their own numbers by potentially counting inactive profiles).

While these policies are spelled out in Tinder’s current terms and conditions, most people aren’t taking the time to read through or really understand how their data could be used. And Norwegian authorities want to call the company out on the practice.

Another sticking point for Tinder according to the Council is that the minimum user age is listed at 13, which country officials consider too young, especially when it comes to understanding complicated online privacy issues.

While Tinder is arguably the most successful dating app, its popularity soared in part because the app was free for those who downloaded it. Access to data from its user base is one of the ways Tinder can make money. A revenue model they use includes offering targeted (data-driven) marketing.

According to a recent article in Fortune, this isn’t the first complaint about app and social media privacy policies from governments outside the U.S. In France earlier this year, the consumer organization UFC-Que Choisir asked French data protection authority CNIL to investigate dating app Happn over its data-collection practices. And the German antitrust authority launched a complaint against Facebook over its “unfair” terms and conditions, on the premise that it is dominates the social networking market and has an unfair competitive advantage.

While Tinder doesn’t have a European operation, it does offer the app in Norwegian language and it is available in Norway’s app store, so it does have to abide by the country’s regulations when selling to its market.

If Norway’s officials consider the case against the company, it may order Tinder to change its terms and conditions or face penalties. Tinder said it makes every effort to comply with local and national regulations. The company released a statement that read: “If and when authorities bring up larger privacy concerns, we always take them into consideration and, if applicable to our users, take steps to implement any necessary changes. We are committed to protecting our users’ privacy and strive to uphold a fair and trusted privacy policy.”

For more information on this dating app please read our review of Tinder.

Ghosting is becoming a familiar term in dating. It’s a passive-aggressive way of breaking up with someone, where one partner goes completely silent by not returning calls or answering texts, offering a not-so-subtle rejection of their partner. While this behavior existed long before dating apps were created, it’s only become more common as dating apps have taken off.

A recent survey confirms this trend. Dating website Plenty of Fish (POF), one of the largest dating sites in the world, surveyed 800 Millennials between ages 18-33 in both the U.S. and Canada to understand attitudes and behavior patterns among young daters. Results of the survey showed that an overwhelming majority - 80% of Millennials - have at some point in their dating lives been ghosted.

There are many reasons behind the trend of ghosting. Dating apps do make it easier, since people can be anonymous. Most daters don’t have mutual friends in common when they meet over apps, so they aren’t really held accountable for their actions or behavior. It’s also much easier to ghost someone you may not know very well instead of confronting them directly. The assumption is that it’s easier to ghost someone than than to reject him outright (like it's easier to text than to call), or that the relationship was a casual one and therefore it’s “not a big deal” to just let it disappear.

In fact, “ghosting” seems to be the new trend when ending a relationship, and daters know it will happen. Fifteen percent of survey respondents admitted to scheduling multiple dates in one night, assuming that at least one date wouldn’t work out.

Some other interesting trends the survey discovered:

There’s no “Dating Apocalypse”: Contrary to popular belief, an overwhelming majority - 75% of millennials - use dating apps because they’re looking for a serious relationship. Forty-nine percent identified “just looking to hookup” as the biggest misconception about singles under the age of 30.

Financial difficulties factor into dating and relationships: According to the study, 30% of millennials live at home with their parents, and not surprisingly, 50% say this living situation negatively impacts their love life.

Savvy Singles: 50% millennial singles over the age of 24 have already been dating online for 5 years or more, with the majority of respondents currently using more than one dating app. Twenty-three percent visit an online dating site or app 3-5 times every day. If a date goes well, 20% of millennials won’t even wait one day to set up a second date.

Millenials aren’t just looking for hook-ups and are serious about finding relationships, which is good news. However, many dating app users need a few lessons when it comes to improving their dating behavior. Ghosting isn't the best way to end a new relationship.

For more information on this dating service you can read our POF review.