Comments for Dating Foreign Woman, Have you done your Homework

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Dating Foreign Woman, Have you done your Homework

Authored by: Editor on Sunday, April 13 2008 @ 03:59 pm

I'll clarify what I mean.

I don't have a problem with people dating each other from other countries. I just think that people who are separated by great distances have a much greater chance of having any real relationship attempt, fail. When I refer to a relationship, I mean a serious relationship that the goal of both parties in the end is marriage (or at least a serious commitment from both people). A person who lives in Windsor, Ontario and is dating someone who lives in Detroit, Michigan probably have the same chance of relationship success as meeting someone from the same city since the distance is not that far. I would also say, someone who lives in Washington State and attempts to have a serious online relationship with someone who lives in Florida would have problems as well since it would be difficult to meet in person very often because of the great distance between them.

In your example I would not see you as "odd". You where in the country for an extended period of time and you spoke the language.

Dating Foreign Woman, Have you done your Homework

Authored by: Anonymous (Anonymous User) on Wednesday, April 16 2008 @ 08:19 pm

Admin, Thanks for the clarification. And I have some facts for you. The INS did two studies in 1999 regarding international marriages where the partners met via internet. The author of one of the studies, who incidently displayed a bias against international marriages, found that there was a 20% divorce rate in these marriages.

This is a significant finding because the divorce rate among American-American marriages is about 50%.

Actually, this makes sense to me, having met my first (and only) wife online from Central Asia and knowing many others who have married foreigners they met via internet. The reason is this: American men who go online to meet a prospective wife are doing just that. They are admitting to themselves that they are seeking a wife. They are admitting to the women they write to that they are seeking a wife. The women are admitting to themselves and to the men they meet that they are seeking a husband. Consequently, the couple tries hard to make the relationship a success once they are together. Says Anthropologist Nicole Constable in her book Romance on a Global Stage about international marriages: "Many [men] went to great lengths to ensure their partner's comfort and happiness in the United States."

By contrast, I know from the dating scene in the US that rarely does a woman admit that she is seeking a husband to herself and even less frequently to the men she meets. To do so would be considered by some to be a sign of weakness, and women must be strong and not need a man. Moreover, much of US dating is casual and no one puts much emphasis on a date. Our culture tells the dating public that if they don't like something about the date, just dump them. And that attitude carries through into marriage. Women in particular are told by our culture that they must fulfill themselves completely, and if a man gets in the way of that (of if they even THINK he gets in the way) he should be dumped, regardless of the status of the relationship, regardless of the children. And if you think about it, getting to know a woman when both have expressed an interest in marriage and then traveling halfway around the world to meet essentially guarantees that the couple will take the date way more seriously than traveling a few blocks or a few miles for a cup of coffee or lunch with another person in the same city.

Thus, Americans who marry other Americans have low levels of commitment. American men who marry foreign women have high levels of commitment.

And as for me, having married for the first time at age 50 and having dated many American women before, I enjoy my wife more than I ever enjoyed any relationship with an American woman. She is similarly happy. Had I not gone online and found her, there is little doubt in my mind that I would still be single and lonely.

Dating Foreign Woman, Have you done your Homework

Authored by: Anonymous (Anonymous User) on Saturday, November 07 2020 @ 06:04 pm

Been there and did exactly that, we’re both happy for the last 10 years.

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