Slower Than the Speed of Light
- Friday, December 06 2013 @ 04:17 pm
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,417
When you first decide to sign up for an online dating website, it can be downright intoxicating. The possibilities are endless. You have butterflies. You feel that the very act of creating the profile will instantly flood your inbox with messages from your potential true love.
Sure, all of that is true, in a sense - those possibilities do exist, though reality tends to be a little slower, with more rejection and a lot of first-contact emails. What many don’t realize is that all of that same potential exists in your everyday life, as well.
After all, it’s possible you could meet someone in line at the bank, or at work. “But you’re talking about something that’s highly unlikely!” you protest. “I want to meet someone faster. I want to meet someone now.” Online dating is certainly a more efficient way to meet higher numbers of people, to be sure. But, just like in real life, there’s no 30-minutes-or-less guarantee.
For some, the key is to take their inflated online dating expectations and temper them with their real-world expectations. Think of it this way: you’re probably not walking around the mall or the grocery store or the mall actively hunting for a potential date. You don’t wrap up your errands saddened that no one has approached you and asked for your number. You know love could pop up at any moment, but you’re not tapping your foot waiting for it to arrive, either.
Similarly, take your time with online dating, and try not to get too wrapped up in it. Obsession is a sure road to burnout, and you’re left feeling discouraged and bitter - never a good place to be. The goal is not to find a life partner by Saturday; the goal is to meet someone who truly is compatible and with whom you truly share a spark. Someone who fits the bill might be sitting online, waiting to meet you - or maybe they won’t even sign up for another month.
In the meantime, don’t make checking your dating email your primary hobby. Romance is a happy bonus, but it’s not the only important thing in life. When you do meet someone compatible, you’ll want to be confident and secure, not impatient and anxious. Just because the internet moves ever faster doesn’t mean our expectations always need to follow the same pace.
Sure, all of that is true, in a sense - those possibilities do exist, though reality tends to be a little slower, with more rejection and a lot of first-contact emails. What many don’t realize is that all of that same potential exists in your everyday life, as well.
After all, it’s possible you could meet someone in line at the bank, or at work. “But you’re talking about something that’s highly unlikely!” you protest. “I want to meet someone faster. I want to meet someone now.” Online dating is certainly a more efficient way to meet higher numbers of people, to be sure. But, just like in real life, there’s no 30-minutes-or-less guarantee.
For some, the key is to take their inflated online dating expectations and temper them with their real-world expectations. Think of it this way: you’re probably not walking around the mall or the grocery store or the mall actively hunting for a potential date. You don’t wrap up your errands saddened that no one has approached you and asked for your number. You know love could pop up at any moment, but you’re not tapping your foot waiting for it to arrive, either.
Similarly, take your time with online dating, and try not to get too wrapped up in it. Obsession is a sure road to burnout, and you’re left feeling discouraged and bitter - never a good place to be. The goal is not to find a life partner by Saturday; the goal is to meet someone who truly is compatible and with whom you truly share a spark. Someone who fits the bill might be sitting online, waiting to meet you - or maybe they won’t even sign up for another month.
In the meantime, don’t make checking your dating email your primary hobby. Romance is a happy bonus, but it’s not the only important thing in life. When you do meet someone compatible, you’ll want to be confident and secure, not impatient and anxious. Just because the internet moves ever faster doesn’t mean our expectations always need to follow the same pace.
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