Giving Up Too Quickly
- Sunday, November 03 2013 @ 10:18 am
- Contributed by: Jet
- Views: 1,021
For many of us, dating and romance missteps come early - incredibly early. The kindergartener who gets teased about his little friend, denies liking her vehemently - and hurts her feelings. The fourth grader who hasn’t thought about love at all, but is scandalized when she gets a note asking if she’ll be a girlfriend. And once we hit puberty, the cringeworthy moments are often and painful.
In fact, they’re probably much more painful than most of what we experience as adults. And yet, even though we’ve all got a story that we’d rather tell with our eyes closed, red from embarrassment, we didn’t give up on dating or love altogether.
However, that is the attitude many show to the concept of online dating. One laughably incompatible “recommended” profile, one bad date, and they’re ready to throw in the towel. It’s not unheard of for men and women to choose to leave a site altogether thanks to one subpar experience - and “subpar” here means something along the lines of “I recognized that match as a person I’ve met and disliked,” not “I was scammed for my family fortune.”
The truth of the matter is, we probably have worse encounters just going about our daily lives. In online dating, you can outright eliminate obviously incompatible people without ever having to contact them; that’s not so easily done in a bar or club. You can get a rough idea of the person you’re meeting before you’ve gone on that first date. When you choose to meet, you know you’re both there to assess your compatibility; you’re not playing some game of psychic chess, as you might on a date with a maybe-more-than-a-friend.
So what makes people so willing to give up on online dating altogether? Is it the fact that they have to really think about their own priorities and motivations? Is it that they have to be practical and proactive, instead of hoping they’ll be swept into a fairy tale? Are they wondering if others are judging them as harshly as they do?
Online dating doesn’t have to be some scary ordeal - in fact, it’s often much gentler than approaching someone “in the wild.” Before you move on to the next site or away from your computer altogether, ask yourself why - and whether it’s really worth giving up on an opportunity to find love.
In fact, they’re probably much more painful than most of what we experience as adults. And yet, even though we’ve all got a story that we’d rather tell with our eyes closed, red from embarrassment, we didn’t give up on dating or love altogether.
However, that is the attitude many show to the concept of online dating. One laughably incompatible “recommended” profile, one bad date, and they’re ready to throw in the towel. It’s not unheard of for men and women to choose to leave a site altogether thanks to one subpar experience - and “subpar” here means something along the lines of “I recognized that match as a person I’ve met and disliked,” not “I was scammed for my family fortune.”
The truth of the matter is, we probably have worse encounters just going about our daily lives. In online dating, you can outright eliminate obviously incompatible people without ever having to contact them; that’s not so easily done in a bar or club. You can get a rough idea of the person you’re meeting before you’ve gone on that first date. When you choose to meet, you know you’re both there to assess your compatibility; you’re not playing some game of psychic chess, as you might on a date with a maybe-more-than-a-friend.
So what makes people so willing to give up on online dating altogether? Is it the fact that they have to really think about their own priorities and motivations? Is it that they have to be practical and proactive, instead of hoping they’ll be swept into a fairy tale? Are they wondering if others are judging them as harshly as they do?
Online dating doesn’t have to be some scary ordeal - in fact, it’s often much gentler than approaching someone “in the wild.” Before you move on to the next site or away from your computer altogether, ask yourself why - and whether it’s really worth giving up on an opportunity to find love.
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