Want a Happy Relationship?

Having a happy and fulfilling love life is not only dependent on finding the right person, but also on how you approach your relationships.

Many of us look at a happy couple and think that they got lucky in finding each other. But the truth is, they have cultivated happiness within the relationship, which takes effort from both parties.

Following are some tips to help you cultivate happiness in your own relationships:

Take charge of your own happiness. This is perhaps the simplest concept, but the hardest one to practice. We seek out romantic relationships to fall in love. We want our partners to make us happy, to fulfill our needs. But constantly looking outside yourself for approval, happiness, or fulfillment doesn't work. When you understand what your needs are, how to address them, and feel happy in your own right - then you will fare much better in creating a happy relationship.

Have gratitude. This sounds cliché, especially when you're unhappy, but it is a very powerful tool in creating lasting happiness. Instead of always focusing on what you lack, think of everything you have in your life - family, friends, pets, your home, your job, or whatever else gives you a sense of belonging, peace or fulfillment. Be grateful for what you have now - in the present - instead of dwelling in the past or in the future. Make a list, and read it in the mornings to remind yourself to get in the habit of living in the present moment.

Communicate well. It's easy to tell someone what you want, especially your significant other, but it's not always effective. "I need you to be..." and "why don't you ever..." are not great ways of communicating and feeling heard. Instead, focus on the language and tone of voice you use when you communicate with your partner, and express how you feel instead of criticizing everything you think they're doing wrong. For example, "It makes me feel frustrated when..." It's important to express your feelings, but refrain from criticism and blame.

Don't let your own happiness come second to your partner's. It's important to communicate your feelings if you're upset or unhappy about something instead of always giving in to your significant other's wishes. If you sacrifice your own happiness for that of someone else, you'll feel resentful eventually, and that eats away at the fabric of a good relationship.

Most importantly, understanding your own needs and creating your own happiness - independent of anyone else's - is a path to happier relationships with everyone in your life.