Tips for Dating after Divorce

Going through a divorce is a major life shift, and it's not something that you can get over by rushing to get back out there and date. It's important to resist jumping back in, even if you're lonely and just want some company. Give yourself some time to be alone and process everything you've been through. Allow yourself to date when you're ready - there are no time limits, and the process of letting go is different for everyone, and may take longer if you have children.

Another point to consider when dating after divorce - depending on how long you were married, the dating atmosphere has changed significantly over the past decade, so you might find yourself in unfamiliar territory. Don't worry, it will just take some time to understand how it works.

So if you're ready to dip your toe into the dating pool and see what happens, there are a few steps to take to prepare yourself for the ride.

Take baby steps. If you want to date, start off slow. Don't join three different sites and make plans to meet your dates four nights a week, hoping to get to the relationship faster. Dating doesn't really work that way, so pace yourself so you don't have burnout and you're not in over your head.

Ask friends for help. If you'd like to revamp your wardrobe, or get help with your profile, call on a friend to help. If you have other divorced or single friends who are currently dating, even better to get their input. Friends can help with your online profile, too. Often they are better cheerleaders on our behalf than we are.

Utilize technology. There aren't many "rules" anymore - like waiting three days to call someone back so you don't look eager. Let go of your preconceived notions, because they aren't true anymore. Also, start using technology. Sign up for online dating. Text your dates to schedule when and where to meet, or to keep flirtations going after a first or second date.

Refrain from conversations about your ex. This is hard to do, especially if you're dating another divorced person, but refrain from ex talk - even if you have things in common as far as your divorce. You want to start off on a new foot, not rehashing the past, which can put off a date and make you feel worse. Keep the conversation light and focus on just having a good time without all the heaviness and expectations.

Understand what you want. Be aware of what you've learned from your past relationships, and know what you want in your next relationship. Don't be afraid to just have fun or want something serious. Set your intention, whether it's another long-term thing or just some company. Be honest with yourself.

Have fun! Don't take dating too seriously. This is a good time to just have fun and get to know yourself in a new way. Happy dating!