Tips for Online Dating Success: How to be Yourself

Online dating can seem like a big sales game. You're trying to impress a bunch of strangers who don't know anything about you. You want to be noticed, to find romance, to find partnership, or just dip your toe in the dating pool again. Whatever your motivation, it's easy to fall into the trap of misrepresenting yourself in order to appear more attractive. Most of the time, this works against you.

The old adage "just be yourself" really sets you apart from the pack. Many people make the mistake of trying to conform to what they think other singles are looking for, which leads to generic profiles, inaccurate depictions, and not much information about who you are, what your passion is, or anything else that can be a conversation starter or way to connect.

A few tips for being yourself:

Post recent photos. According to statistics, many people post photos that are more than a year old. While you may look tanned, fit and glowing from last year's vacation in Mexico, is that really who you are in your day-to-day life? Instead, have a friend take a good photo if you don't have anything from the last couple of months. If you've had the same profile picture for several months, change it. It will put your profile in the front lines of other's searches when you update.

Show off your passion. If you love playing electric guitar, cooking, mountain biking, or rowing, include a photo and a couple of sentences about your passion. This is something that others can connect with - and often it's easier to communicate in a photo rather than just including it in your profile description, because people in a hurry often just flip through photos and glance over descriptions. This is a way to make sure you get them to take a second look.

Don't hide your flaws. OKCupid came out with a study earlier this year that showed if men disagree over whether or not a woman is hot, she fares better with messages and responses than women who are generically considered "attractive." Most of the time, there was a particular feature, like a large nose or curvy hips, that some men found really attractive and others didn't. The thing to remember is, when you meet someone in person, they will notice what you tried to hide in photographs. So why not go out with the ones that find your perceived flaws really hot from the start?

Get a friend to help. If you feel you can't be objective about all your great qualities, enlist a friend to help write your profile and choose photos. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to try and figure out how to best "sell" yourself, but really - people don't want to read a long list of attributes. They want to find something to help them connect with you. Remember, dating is all about connection. So finding ways to help people want to learn more about you - through humor, storytelling, or talking about your passions - are all helpful in your search for love online.