The Spreadsheet That’s Taking Over Cyberspace

Spreadsheets are boring, right? They're all just facts, figures, and formulas...soulless numbers that will bore all but the most dedicated of mathematicians...

Except for this spreadsheet, which is making quite a splash in cyberspace. This is the spreadsheet of David Merkur, a 28-year-old New Yorker who works for a real estate finance firm and dabbles in online dating. Well...more than dabbles, by the looks of it.

This cautionary tale of dating-gone-wrong began as a way for Merkur to keep track of his interactions with online dates. The detailed spreadsheet included each woman's name, a photo, his initial impression of her profile, the dates on which they'd exchanged winks and emails, and notes on their first date.

Then it gets even more complex. Merkur color-coded the entries to indicate which women he wanted to "monitor closely ASAP" and which women he planned to "monitor casually." Finally, each woman was awarded a numerical score based on her appearance.

On a date with one of these women - described in her entry as "very pretty; sweet & down to earth/great personality" - Merkur revealed the existence of his tracking system. Intrigued, his date asked to see the spreadsheet and he complied, sending it in an email that included the message "Well...this could be a mistake, but what the hell. I hope this e-mail doesn't backfire, because I really had a great time and hope to hang again soon :) ."

Backfire it certainly did. The woman forwarded it to a few friends, who then forwarded it to a few friends, who then forwarded it to a few friends, and....well...you can guess what happened from there. Pretty soon it was all over the Web, and cyberspace was abuzz with the story. Merkur apologized after becoming an accidental Internet celebrity, calling the Excel spreadsheet a "serious lapse in judgment" and saying he is "deeply remorseful."

Some have defended the spreadsheet, calling it an effective way to "break down a daunting problem (finding a partner) into a series of manageable steps" and noting that "There is nothing inherently creepy or misogynistic about using a tool to help remember what you did or didn't like about another person."

Others are firm in their criticism. "Here is why the spread-sheeting rubs me and so many others the wrong way," writes a Huffington Post contributor. "Love is not about comparison shopping. It's more like being a bowling pin with a marbleized ball careening toward you. It's easier to be knocked down if you don't have things propping you up."

Either way you look at it, I don't think Merkur will be going on more dates any time soon.