Should Credit Scores Factor Into Dating?

A recent article in The New York Times revealed that dating in hard economic times may have gotten a little more rough. It's great to be pretty and petite, or tall, dark and handsome, but that might not be all singles are after.

It's no secret that career success and wealth factor into our dating choices. But now credit scores are important indicators of who we should date. They provide a peek into someone's personal history - not of their relationships with other people - but of their financial choices.

Traditionally, credit scores have been used by banks to determine whether you qualify for a loan on a new house you might want to purchase. It's a complex formula that indicates your debt and payment history. But now, credit scores are being used by everyone from potential employers to potential suitors to see how you've managed your money in the past, which can determine your future behavior. Are you saddled with debt? This might be enough to sway a potential boyfriend from asking you out on the second or third date.

"Credit scores are like the dating equivalent of a sexually transmitted disease test," said Manisha Thakor, the founder and chief executive of MoneyZen Wealth Management, in The New York Times article. "It's a shorthand way to get a sense of someone's financial past the same way an S.T.D. test gives some information about a person's sexual past."

This trend indicates that the recession has affected our personal lives too. Daters have become more concerned with credit scores because they fear an uncertain financial future. A good credit score can give us a sense of security about someone else, whether or not it's justified. Because so many people were burned with bad mortgages and credit card debt, it might seem overwhelming to take on someone else's in a new relationship, especially if it leads to marriage and merged banking accounts.

While the stress is understandable, and financial security is a high priority to many people, I don't advocate making a person's credit score a deal-breaker in any relationship. After all, someone could be extremely rich and have excellent credit but be a selfish, inconsiderate boyfriend or girlfriend. And financial situations can change, as we've all learned. A good credit score in the past doesn't mean that it will stay that way in the future.

The more important factors in any relationship involve the intangibles - how the other person treats us, how they engage and interact with us, and mutual respect and kindness. I urge you to put financial fears aside and consider these aspects first.