Online Dating Tip for Men: Messaging

Online dating is not for the lazy. Anyone who's done it for a while knows what I'm talking about: it takes patience, persistence, and a lot of attention. (Not unlike many relationships!) But usually people become frustrated long before they give it a real chance, so they are left thinking online dating doesn't work. But it does. You just have to know how to do it.

There are many steps in the online dating process, but I feel the one that gets the least amount of attention is messaging. For some reason, this is where men seem to get stuck. They either don't get responses, or they don't get the responses they are looking for.

Instead of beating yourself up over not hearing back from the women you're attracted to, try following some of these tips and see what happens:

Message more women. If you find ten women attractive and send each of them a message with no reply, are you tempted to stop altogether? If so, this is a huge mistake! You have to think of online dating in terms of quantity: if you want certain results, you have to be willing to go the distance. Send fifty emails and see what happens. Send a hundred. You get the picture - don't just stop at a few. Put yourself out there more and I guarantee you'll see better results.

Compliment. Every woman likes to be noticed for her attributes. I don't mean sending an email entitled "Hey Sexy..." or commenting on her breasts. Be classy. Notice the details of her photo: her eyes, her smile, her hair - and compliment what you find attractive. You'll get her attention.

Mention something unique about her profile that shows her you read it. This is for all of you who send the same email to a hundred different women. Try personalizing them instead. A woman wants to know that you paid attention and think she's special. It goes a long way in getting her to respond.

Keep it brief. No need to write your life story. Many men feel the need to list off their accomplishments to prove themselves, instead of starting up a conversation. Women are looking to emotionally connect with a man. They don't connect with a resume or a monologue, so keep this in mind when you feel compelled to talk about all the details of your life in an email.

Keep the focus on her, not you. Again, no need to send a resume of your accomplishments. Women respond to men who pay attention to what they say, have a sense of humor, and like to pursue. If you do these things, you'll get some promising responses.