Looking to make a Real Connection?

When you're dating, it's easy to feel nervous when you meet someone for the first time, especially if you find yourself attracted to him. You want him to see you in the best light possible: as a confident, attractive and irresistible woman.

Here are some steps to overcoming your insecurities and putting yourself out there to attract the right man to you:

• Get out of your head. The problem is, when you spend your time and energy deciding what to say next, trying to look cool, or wondering what he's thinking about you, it's not only exhausting but unproductive. You're not really connecting with him because you're not in the moment paying attention to what is happening between you. You are too worried about how you appear to him, or if he'll ask you out again. A guy will sense if you're trying too hard or if you're not being yourself. This can be a turn-off for most.

• Be present. Instead of focusing on how you come across, be present on the date. Take it moment by moment instead of thinking ahead as to whether there will be a next date, or what he'll be like in bed, etc.

• Let down your guard. When you allow yourself to be a little more honest and vulnerable, you are better able to connect with a man. He will be more willing to let down his guard as well. Nobody wants to date the "perfect" person; they want to date someone who is real. If he doesn't respond well to the "real" you, then he's not the right man for you anyway.

• Let go of your need to control the situation. Life is about risk-taking, and so is love. You can't connect with someone if you're too busy trying to create an impression or deciding where the relationship will go. Let it unfold one encounter at a time. This way, you'll enjoy it more, too.