First Date Conversation Stoppers

You've been emailing and having great conversations over the phone, and now your latest online romance wants to meet you in person.

The excitement of a first date is contagious, and you often would like to recreate the chemistry you had over the phone, and may get a little carried away with what you disclose. Remember, you are still getting to know your date, no matter how many great conversations you've shared. First impressions are key. Concentrate on making it fun and light.

Here are some guidelines to keep in mind when you start talking:

1. Keep your exes to yourself. This isn't a church confessional, and you don't have to share the details of past boyfriends or girlfriends to your date. If you ramble on about what went wrong in the relationship, or how wrong your ex was for you, it tends to backfire and make you look like you're bitter or pining. Do yourself and your date a favor and leave the exes out of it.

2. Don't advocate your political opinions. Even if you and your date both consider yourselves politically similar, everyone has differences of opinion. If you want to argue your point of view and get into a debate on the first date, do yourself a favor and stop. You risk alienating your date and coming across as intolerant or judgmental.

3. Don't go on about your job. Sure, you might think that you have the most interesting work environment that's ever been, but your date probably won't think so. Instead of going on and on about it and making him feel more left out, keep references to a minimum. It's a better idea to share and ask questions about career interests, rather than recount the daily office drama.

4. Refrain from sharing your health history. I have a friend who starts off most dates listing her ailments, or what she is suffering from lately. Needless to say, it doesn't help her in winning over men that interest her. Of course, there are exceptions if you are dealing with a serious disease that you feel it necessary to disclose right away. But for most daters, instead of feeling the need to share your problems upfront, consider it a healthier decision to keep the conversation light on the first date.

5. Keep it light. I've been on many dates where men felt the need to share their anger and frustrations with me right away...whether it's about work, women they've dated, or family issues. This left me feeling overwhelmed rather than connected. I would have rather spent the date talking about his dog or his favorite TV show---something that might be boring but not so heavy. Heavy conversation on a first date can quickly kill budding chemistry.