Dating and Older Man: New Article Spells Out “The Rules” for Women

If you've tuned in to CNN or TheFrisky.com this week, they're laying down the law when it comes to ladies who want to date older men. While many women (and men) seek mates close tot their own age, there are always those who prefer to or happen to fall for a man who's their senior (and not by a year or two, either). Granted, there's always the appeal of the frat boy's spry nature and the youthful exuberance of someone your age, here are some tips to guide you through being the best mate possible to an older man.

Pop Culture References

Here's the bottom line: when dating an older man, you're typically facing not only a generation gap. It's more like a generation chasm. You're both going to be operating on different sets of cultural events that shaped (and continue to shape) who you are, so go into the older man scenario with an open mind. He's not necessarily going to be hip to everything in today's hip hop music scene that's blaring over the radio wave and you might not see the lasting importance in bands like Van Halen and The Who. If you can remember that each generation has its gems, you'll be in a great position to be a great mate for an older date!

Ditch the Kid Routine

You're looking for a mate, not a daddy. Keep that in mind with every older date encounter you have. And it's very possible that, in some situations, your date might have older children - he's not looking to raise another one! Leave the needy kid routine at home and be a companion and romantic interest, not another child he has to raise. If you find a dude who wants to keep you in some bizarre child-like state, that's ground for ditching him.

Align Your Goals

Younger women are at different points in their lives than the older men they might seek to date. You may want children and he already has two or three. You might want to buckle-down with your career for the next ten years while he's catching the travel bug. There's not age limit on love but it's best to define certain things going into a May-December relationship. Having those honest conversations about expectations and needs early can save you the heartache later down the line.

The Importance of Being Yourself

As is true with any relationship, you should focus on being yourself. Many times, your maturity levels will be different when dating an older man. You won't expect him to join you and your girlfriends for a night of shots as it's likely he's past that stage (and happily so). Contrarily, you may not find the joy in an early morning round of golf when he's perfectly content getting up at 5am to hit the links on a Saturday. When you give your partner the room to be themselves in a relationship, it doesn't matter that your interests differ. It matters that you respect one another for what makes them happy. It's understanding that sometimes, the time we spend alone is what makes us a better partner in the long run when we're with our mate.

Don't lose yourself to someone else's priorities and be honest with yourself about what you want for yourself. Making sure you're feeding your YOU isn't mutually exclusive with being a great mate and it's more important than ever when you're facing age differences and varying lifestyles.

In Conclusion

No matter who you decide to date and their age, being a strong, independent woman will go miles. Don't expect someone else to complete you and do for yourself. Anything you get from a partner should be a bonus and not an entitlement. You're a great YOU and there's the perfect man out there who will appreciate that you!