5 Conversation Tips for a First Date

One of the issues that causes the most anxiety for singles, especially on first dates, is silence. You don't know the person, and you don't have any shared history to reflect on. So what can you talk about? What can you ask to get to know them without interrogating or offending? And what if they don't laugh at your jokes? Trying to connect with someone face-to-face isn't so easy.

It's stressful to think of clever things to say for a full thirty minutes (or more if it isn't a coffee date). If you're ever at a loss for words, you're not alone. The good thing is, your date is probably thinking about what to say, too.

Instead of feeling stressed, following are some tips to help you with conversation on your next date.

Choose an active date. First dates can be nerve-wracking, and it doubles the pressure to sit across from a virtual stranger, trying to be entertaining. Instead of meeting for coffee or drinks, try something active. Walk your dogs together in the park. Go roller skating. Go on a hike. You get the picture - doing something together (as opposed to just sitting) helps move the conversation along, and releases pent-up energy from nerves.

Ask about a passion. Does your date love sailing, or writing, or fixing bikes? Aside from work, most people have passions - hobbies or interests that they pursue just because they love doing them. When you tap into someone's passion, you can see what motivates them, which is always attractive.

Talk about travel. Travel figures prominently into many people's interests and history, whether they moved around a lot as children, or they take trips to Vegas every year, or they've scoured the globe scuba diving. Ask about his/her favorite trip, or where she/ he would like to go next, and why.

Share stories. Even if you're not a storyteller, everyone has a memory of the most embarrassing thing to happen to them, the bravest thing they've ever done, or the best birthday they ever had. Ask about one of these intimate moments, or share your own, and you'll get your date reflecting and sharing.

Avoid getting too personal. Don't talk about your ex or ask your date about hers. Same thing with oversharing. Your date doesn't need to know that your brother and Mom haven't spoken for fifteen years. Nor does she need to know that you never thought you'd be online dating because you thought you'd have a girlfriend by now. Some things can wait until you've built a level of trust.

Remember, dating is a process of getting to know someone, so relax and don't be afraid of silence.