Starting 2011 off right: some New Year's Dating Resolutions

As 2010 comes to a close, it's a good time to reassess things. Maybe you'd like to become more organized, lose a few pounds from holiday pumpkin pie, or have better success in dating. Whatever the case, in order to change your old habits, it's necessary to develop some better alternatives.

When it comes to dating, many of us have particular beliefs and patterns to which we succumb, whether we realize it or not. Sure, dating can be frustrating and difficult, but it can also be fun and teach us about what we do and don't want in our lives. It's all about perspective. With that in mind, following are some tips for making your dating life a little rosier in the New Year.

Put yourself out there. Many people attend events in order to meet others, but then become shy and unapproachable, which defeats the purpose. Remember to smile, initiate conversation, and circulate. Don't talk to the same people all night because it makes you comfortable. Now is the time to venture outside your comfort zone to bring more opportunities into your life.

Mix it up. Instead of going to the same bar for your weekly happy hour and expecting to meet new people, try something new. Go to a wine tasting, take a pottery class, or go for a ride with a local biking group. You could even try something as simple as going to a new Starbucks in another neighborhood. The point is to try something different.

Lose the negativity. If you've been on a slew of bad dates sometimes it's hard to get back out there with a positive outlook, but it's necessary in attracting people to you. If you begin each date thinking of all the things that could go wrong, or how he or she doesn't measure up to what your ideal mate would be, you'll have a difficult and unpleasant time. Instead of thinking about your past disappointments, start each date on a clean slate. Give yourself and your dates the benefit of the doubt...they will eventually surprise you.

Create quality "alone" time. This may seem counter-intuitive to dating, but it's necessary to spend some quality time with yourself. Whether you exercise, meditate, or take up a hobby, make sure that the time you spend feeds your creativity and spirit. Only when you are fully in touch with yourself and the things that make you happy will you be happy in a relationship.

Lose the "list". Many of us have created lists of our ideal mates in order to attract him/her to us and to better know what we want. Unfortunately, I think this hurts our interactions with others more than it helps us see clearly. Instead of dumping a date because he doesn't meet some qualifications on your list, give each date a real chance. They could surprise you.

Happy New Year!