Dating Sites Reviews Forums

I'm debating whether to sign up with adultfriendfinder or amateur match. I read so much about how people get endless piles of junkmail, etc it just seems like a waste of time. I don't really have any problems being nice to women, and I get the gist of how to make the most of these kinds of sites. I've got some cool pics to put up, and I definitely will be taking the girl out to coffee or dinner before I bed her, but I don't want to waste my money and time on junk. I'm not interested in that whole ashley madison either, cuz the last thing I want is to be chased down by an angry husband. Whats the best way to go?