Is Online Dating A Threat To Monogamy? The Atlantic Says No.

Contributed by: ElyseRomano on Saturday, February 16 2013 @ 10:35 am

Last modified on

Remember that story in The Atlantic about how online dating will be the death of monogamy? Did you find it confusing? Well so did The Atlantic, apparently.

Alexis C. Madrigal, a senior editor at The Atlantic, has published this[*1] : "There's No Evidence Online Dating Is Threatening Commitment or Marriage." Seems like they just can't make up their minds...

In his first response to Dan Slater's piece, "A Million First Dates: How Online Dating is Threating Monogamy," Madrigal leads with two valid points:

  1. Jacob, the subject of much of Slater's article, is "an overgrown manchild jackass who can't figure out what it takes to have a real relationship." Sorry Jacob, but you definitely have a few issues to work out that have nothing to do with the glut of options offered by online dating.
  2. And beyond that, "neither Jacob's story nor any of the evidence offered compellingly answers the questions raised."

Slater's "evidence" comes from interviews with people who run online dating sites. What kind of objective information is that? Of course they're invested in making online dating sound fun, easy, and addictive.

And while the article is full of those perspectives from dating site owners, it lacks perspectives from just about everyone else (women, gay daters, people who were already poly, etc.). Where's the look at how monogamy and commitment have evolved over time? Where are the stats?

Here are a few from Madrigal:

  • The heaviest users of technology, who consequently use dating sites most, are educated and wealthy people. Amongst the same demographic, divorce rates have been declining for 30 years.
  • A 2012 paper in the American Sociological Review found that people who have the Internet at home are more likely to be in relationships.
  • A 2008 paper postulated that those who benefit most from online dating are those who have less opportunity to meet partners in other ways, meaning it could increase marriage rates by helping people who would otherwise be single find each other.
  • The same paper also theorizes that online dating may lead to more compatible matches, and therefore higher-quality marriages.

Taken all together, the evidence suggests that online dating has one of two effects: either it makes relationships better, or it doesn't affect them at all.

There are plenty of other factors that could be influencing the dating market and changing the way we look at commitment, but none have anything to do with online dating.

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[*1] http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/01/theres-no-evidence-online-dating-is-threatening-commitment-or-marriage/266797/