Is Online Dating A Threat To Monogamy? Some Say Yes.

Polyamory is big news these days (just look at the success of Showtime's show about nonmonogamy). Some of us think it's great news that society is becoming more accepting of non-traditional relationship models. Others aren't so convinced.

Take Dan Slater, a writer for The Atlantic, who says that monogamy is being threatened and online dating is to blame. In "A Million First Dates," he profiles a man named Jacob who found it difficult to meet women after moving from the East Coast to Portland, Oregon. After the end of a five year relationship, he signed up for Match.com and POF.com and found himself "going out with one or two very pretty, ambitious women a week."

Then Jacob entered a relationship with a younger woman, Rachel, and his confidence skyrocketed. He became convinced that, were he ever to be single again, he would have no trouble meeting someone new. "I feel like I underwent a fairly radical change thanks to online dating," Jacob told Slater. "I went from being someone who thought of finding someone as this monumental challenge, to being much more relaxed and confident about it."

He even said he would have married Rachel if he'd met her offline. So why did they break up? And what does online dating have to do with it?

Jacob claims online dating drastically changed his perception of permanence. "When I sensed the breakup coming," he's quoted as saying, "I was okay with it. It didn't seem like there was going to be much of a mourning period, where you stare at your wall thinking you're destined to be alone and all that. I was eager to see what else was out there."

Let me get this straight: the problem with online dating is that it makes it too easy to meet someone new? That it sets the bar too high?

Here's what Slater thinks: "the prospect of finding an ever-more-compatible mate with the click of a mouse means a future of relationship instability, in which we keep chasing the elusive rabbit around the dating track." He even says research backs up the theory that the rise of online dating caused a decline in commitment.

You can read all the quotes from experts here (and trust me, they are interesting), but one in particular jumps out: "Above all, Internet dating has helped people of all ages realize that there's no need to settle for a mediocre relationship."

In what world is that a bad thing, Slater?

Related Story: Is Online Dating A Threat To Monogamy? The Atlantic Says No.