Five tips for women to make your profile stand out

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Ladies, this one's for you. If you've ever wondered how you can compete with all the other pretty faces on your dating site (and c'mon, you can admit you scoped out the competition, got upset, and poured yourself a big glass of wine - we've all been there!), then be prepared to learn the ways of a plain Jane who was never short on dates.

Your profile text is what's going to make guys REALLY want to get to know you. Sure, your face will help. But when those guys read an amazing profile, they'll be clambering to write you about how interested they are. (And, bonus: you'll easily be able to pick out those who read the profile and those who just sent a form email!)

Toot your horn!
Many women underestimate themselves in their profiles because they're afraid of coming off like a... witch (hey, it's almost Halloween!), or uppity or high maintenance. So instead of being that, they swing the pendulum ALLLLLL the way to the other side and come off sounding like a 1950s housewife. "Oh, I have some interests, but I'd really like to learn about yours, dear potential husband." Ugh!

Seriously, ladies, write about what makes you awesome. Do you climb mountains, write novels, change your own oil, bake the world's best chocolate chip cookies? Tell a story that makes guys want to be a part of your life!

Online Dating Photo No-Nos

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It’s the first thing people see: your online dating profile photos. They are nothing less than your business card and resume and you want to make sure that your potential matches are seeing the best “you” possible. Your smile, your goofy side, you in action during your favorite activities – no matter what the photo shows, it should always show you. But did you know that there are things that your dating profile photos should never show?

Another “date” cropped-out of the picture. I have no doubt that you look stunning in those pictures from the wedding or baseball game you went to with your ex-whomever. Your potential matches want to envision themselves in a picture with you, not try to figure out who’s cropped-out of your pictures.

Your children (if under 18). While they may be the apples of your eye, it is unsafe to have your minor children in your online dating photos. Your photos can allude to the fact that you enjoy family by showing you at the playground or your kids’ sporting events, but no photos of you with your children. People in your life should have to earn your trust prior to being introduced to your most prized companions. Keep them safe by keeping their identities safe. Hundreds of people may look at your profile pictures on any give day, and this puts your children in an unsafe position.

Women Over 35: Your Guide to Killer Online Dating Profile Pictures

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New to the online dating scene? Updating your profile? Looking for new matches in the sea of men? Pictures can make or break your online dating experience. They are not only the first impression your online matches receive – they are the window to your personality! Use these tips when creating or revising your online dating profile – rev-up your profile pictures and rev-up your social life as a result!

Grab a girlfriend and a digital camera. Current pictures are key to a successful online dating experience. Nobody likes the bait and switch, so don’t give any of your dates cause for complaint. Get yourself gorgeous and head out in the earlier morning or later afternoon to your favorite park. Give your girlfriend the camera and have a go! She knows you and knows your personality, so sit on a swing, slide down a slide – whatever your fancy. Make sure she gets shots of your whole body as well as close-ups of you face and smile.

Show a variety of looks. Whether an attorney, freelance writer or nurse, you’re not always in a bridesmaid’s dress from your sister’s wedding or a suit for an appearance in court. Show your potential mates that you’re comfortable looking like you. This doesn’t mean get dressed-up in a cocktail gown if you’re a camping girl at heart. It just means that 10 pictures of you in the same outfit aren’t nearly as powerful as 8 of you with a variety of looks!

Be you. You’re not a twenty-something college coed, but you’re not ready for Shady Acres yet, either. You’re a smart, accomplished and worldly woman, so your pictures should reflect that as well. If your friends refer to you as a complete goof, add some goofy pictures into that profile of yours. Love working with children? Show some pictures of charity work. Whatever your passion, let your pictures say what words cannot: that you’re a mature woman who understands her quirks and embraces them wholeheartedly!

Create a Killer Online Dating Profile in Three Simple Steps

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The world of online dating can be daunting. Whether you’ve been in the mix of various online dating sites for awhile or are completely new to the scene, it’s easier than you think to create a profile that will get you more glances than passes.

Building your online dating profile doesn’t have to be in the same category as a trip to the dentist (with apologies to the dentists reading this). Just think about the last time you sat down at a business meeting, a party, or even a date. What was it that you found interesting about the people you were talking to? It probably wasn’t that they liked the color blue or “looked as good in a cocktail dress as they do in a pair of jeans.” More likely, it was the truly unique qualities and experiences they possessed. A recent trip to Nepal, a sense of humor like Jerry Seinfeld or that they just completed their first 100-mile bike ride. Am I right?

This is what your online dating profile should be like! Filled with the truly unique character traits that embody you – from the words you choose to the pictures in your profile, let your profile scream “I’m somebody special!” instead of “Keep looking. I’m just like everyone else.”

Another 10 points you should Know about Online Dating

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The Times Online (UK version) published an article called 10 things to know about internet dating. It is like most other dating safety lists with tips about talking on the phone first before meeting in person and, as point 7 suggests, your first date should always be in daylight and take place around other people. The Times first point is about reading between the lines to see if your potential match is married or even separated. They cite a statistic from MSNBC which says:

one third of people using online dating services are married

While I have no doubts that married people use dating sites, I don't believe a third of all online daters are married. Free dating sites do tend to have more married people and scammers on them since there is no cost to entry. Plus a married man or woman is much less likely to use a paid dating site since they don't want to have to explain to their partner about the dating site charge on their credit card.

5 Steps to Perfect Failure in Online Dating

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One of the biggest diseases in dating, online or off, is perfectionism. Some of us just don't like to fail. Some won't admit we have. Some avoid it at all costs. When this stubbornness runs into the living, breathing person we're dating (or trying to date), things can get rough fast.

Fortunately, online dating can help us get past this quirk. We turn to online dating to find love, but remember it's a numbers game. With hundreds of thousands of people dating online, the odds are against us. We will fail more than we succeed.

The key is to fail a lot, up front, and get it out of the way. Then the odds are in our favor!

I find these techniques especially helpful for people who've gone back to dating after some time away. I was there not too long ago: I'd just left a long-term relationship. And I learned not to wish for a perfect relationship to replace the one I just lost. It's best to rack up a bunch of small failures while getting your mojo back. So...

  1. Write your best profile. Then trash it.
  2. You can labor over a profile, writing a perfect masterpiece. But if it doesn't entice the people who'd love you in real life, it's time to revise. Rather than throwing it out, make it better bit-by-bit. In business, they call it kaizen, Japanese for "continuous improvement." It's rare to hit one out of the park on your first swing. So keep swinging-- keep improving.
  3. Aim for the stars. And crash and burn!
  4. Make the first person you contact someone you think you have no chance with. Too gorgeous, too rich, too young, too everything. Be genuine-- pick someone you'd genuinely like to meet. They probably won't message you back, which is kind of the point. You want to get detached from the outcome of your dating by failing right away. It's easy to get attached to Joey19930 or Kim7ZZ7 after reading their profiles, but remember that they don't really exist until you meet them in the real world. Failing right away will remind you that the worst that can happen is this kind of failure. Which is nothing at all!
  5. Tell the perfect match in your head you're not good enough for them.
  6. Ditch 'em. Then message, meet, even date someone who's not your type. Online dating makes it easy to go after ONLY 5'10" 28-year-old toned Catholic vegetarians with black hair. Which is good for being picky but bad for getting back in the game. So open your mind and meet someone new. (You don't have to marry them, or even fall in love. But you can learn a lot about yourself and have fun besides.)
  7. Fail to give it your all.
  8. Searching online can easily take over your life. It's like looking for the needle in the haystack: you know it's in there, so you waste a day looking. That's a good way to burn out. Instead, limit your time. Give it no more than an hour every few days. If you write your profile right, it will do a lot of the work for you while you're walking the dog and doing yoga.
  9. Fail to fail.
  10. By failing at online dating, you'll slowly get your confidence back. You won't look at a person who sends you a flirt as your last best chance. Instead, they'll be one of many options. Like the rest of life, the most vital part of all success is confidence. Remember, each failure is just a building block for the success you're about to build. As Samuel Beckett wrote, "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." And eventually, you'll succeed!