Types (Niche)

Ashley Madison, the infamous dating website that makes its revenue from matching married people looking for affairs, has now admitted to spying on its own users.

A recent study published by the company was gathered from emails the sites’ users sent to each other under what they assumed was a condition of anonymity. According to a recent article in Time Magazine, Eric Anderson, a professor at the University of Winchester in England who conducted the study, claims that “women who seek extra-marital affairs usually still love their husbands and are cheating instead of divorcing, because they need more passion.”

“It is very clear that our model of having sex and love with just one other person for life has failed— and it has failed massively,” Anderson tells Time.

As it turns out, Ashlay Madison seems to have commissioned this study to boost its membership numbers - that is, to prove that almost every person in a monogomous relationship is looking to cheat, (and therefore should join their website). But for those who join the site on a strict condition of anonymity because they don’t want their partners to find out, this study is a direct infringement on their right to privacy.

So Ashley Madison is now in a tricky spot. Has it alienated its members, since now they know their emails are no longer strictly confidential, but subject to studies and read by a third party? Perhaps it was in the fine print when they joined the site, as most dating sites collect user information for the purposes of research. But most don’t analyze individual emails being sent back and forth between individual users.

As Time Magazine also points out, because of the nature of the dating site, and the fact that most of its members are being dishonest or lying by the mere fact that they are using the site for an extramarital affair, it calls into question the integrity of the data itself. Who knows what is true and what isn’t in each email? Who can say that anyone on the site is honest in any email they send to another site user?

According to Anderson, his data “included profile information that the women supplied when they signed up for the site (information not made available to other Ashley Madison users),” as well as information other users could see. “We also acquired all private message conversations that [users] had with men on the website for one month,” Anderson told Time.

The results of the study are still somewhat questionable. Anderson claims that in our sexualized culture, married folks could feel as if they are missing out when they are only having sex with one partner.

While this might be true for the users of Ashley Madison, it doesn't mean that it's applicable to the majority of married couples in the U.S.

Dating is a mystery, even for those who have been doing it for a while. Men and women misunderstand each other all the time when they are in relationships, so it’s only natural that communication problems would occur while you are just getting to know each other. Even before the first date!

Texting is a great tool to help us keep in touch, but it’s also created a whole new level of second-guessing and misunderstanding when it comes to dating. How many times have you stared at a text, trying to interpret it – even if it’s only “hey, what’s up?” We might think – is he asking me because he wants to see if I’m busy, or is he just being casual and reaching out to say hello? Then we might wonder: when should I text him back? Should I wait another five minutes, another hour, another day??

We drive ourselves nuts sometimes trying to figure out what’s going on in someone else’s head. But the truth is very simple: we don’t know. We can’t make assumptions. But we should also listen to our intuitions. If we find ourselves wondering too much about his motivations but afraid to ask, we should probably take that as a hint that you're not on the same page romantically speaking.

Following are some typical texts that men send, and what they really mean:

Hey, want to meet for a drink in an hour? [It’s 9:00pm.]

We might think he’s interested in us after all, but chances are, he’s not looking for anything serious and is seeing what you might be up for. Know what you want before agreeing or getting excited about seeing him again - the ball is in your court, so don't settle for less than the relationship you want.

It’s been fun hanging out, but I’m really busy right now with work. Maybe I’ll call you when I’m back in a couple of weeks.

Translation: I’m not really interested, but if I haven’t met anyone else I find attractive in the next two weeks I want to leave my options open. Time to date other people.

I don’t know…where do you want to go tonight?

This might be frustrating if you feel you are always planning the dates, but probably the guy hasn’t put much thought into where to go or what to do. He might spend a few minutes on Yelp before the date, or he might just want you to pick a place because he doesn’t want to take you somewhere you’ll hate. If you feel strongly about planning, then pick the place. If not, just leave it open and see what happens.

I had a nice time with you tonight.

This is a good thing – even if he doesn’t make plans right away for a second date, he’s letting you know he had a good time. Don’t get anxious about the timing, just let him know you had a good time, too. Then if you’re feeling motivated, ask him out instead of waiting for him to make the next move. It’s liberating.

In a recent interview with Business Insider, eHarmony CEO Neil Clark Warren lamented the growing popularity of dating apps like Tinder, where users can swipe left and right after judging someone based on a few photos and short description. Many people prefer the ease and accessibility of dating apps to filling out long questionnaires or writing detailed profiles.

As a psychologist, Warren has touted the benefits of matching based on compatibility - eHarmony's mission and the basis of its marketing – as opposed to the pitfalls of just leaving things to chance. He believes that the game-like dating experience apps like Tinder offer could lead to superficial relationships that don't last for the long-term. 

"I’m sad about it, to tell you the truth, because it doesn't work," he told Business Insider. "It won’t work over time. These new apps tend to be so superficial. They will allure a lot of people into thinking that they belong together when they perhaps don’t belong together at all. They’re depending on superficial almost accidental compatibility. Compatibility is a serious matter, and it’s very deep and very important to figure out."

Tinder has taken the dating world by storm, almost rendering traditional online dating sites with algorithms and matching technology passé. Instead, Tinder has managed to present dating as more like a game - something that engages people and is easy to use, if not very focused on the end result.

But one has to ask: why should any dating app or online dating company be invested in people coupling up? It takes away their business in an industry that relies on sheer numbers in order to sell their product or attract investment dollars.

Dr. Warren however, maintains that he is focused on the end goal: matching people for the long-term, and doing it scientifically. He tells Business Insider that while "it isn't horrible to date people who aren't perfect for you," he thinks that these relationships will accidentally extend into something long-term, like marriage, where the partners eventually split. 

"These companies that are bringing out these apps, they haven't done any careful research about what works," Warren said. "They're just trying to throw something out there that makes money for the company."

He added: "As a psychologist, I've presided over the funerals of an awful lot of marriages, and I've seen people suffer a tremendous amount of pain who went through horrible divorces."

While this might be a little misleading - after all, to some extent, love happens by chance - be it through a dating app or an online dating site, or even while standing in line for your morning coffee. Connection happens, and sometimes it just has to be pursued, regardless of how compatible you are. But for those looking for more serious relationships, would you place your heart in the hands of Tinder or eHarmony?

A recent article in The New York Times shed light on a particular problem that’s been rearing its ugly head lately: companies are conducting secret experiments with users of social media and online dating sites. Facebook recently revealed that it manipulated the emotional content of news feeds of 700,000 people to see if emotions were contagious. In addition, OkCupid recently shared the results of its own three secret studies of users.

In one test, OkCupid obscured profile pictures so that people could communicate, but they couldn’t see who they were communicating with. The dating site found that members had more meaningful conversations, exchanged more contact details, and responded to first messages more often. When pictures were revealed, many conversations stopped.

In another test, OkCupid hid profile text to see how it affected personality ratings. In general, more attractive users were regarded as more personable – in other words, users were equating looks with personality – even though there wasn’t much information to go on.

The third experiment was the cause of the most controversy, where the site lied to a portion of users, telling them that matches who were (according to OkCupid algorithms) 90% compatible were actually only 30%, and matches with very little compatibility were told they had high compatibility. The end result? Communication went up when people thought they were being matched with someone very compatible, because OkCupid gave them that impression of compatibility, even if it wasn’t the truth.

While it’s interesting to note that people can be swayed by looks and influenced by what a dating site tells them might work, is it really going to improve the overall experience of online dating? In other words, we might track people’s behavior to understand it a little better, but deceiving people to see how they behave is a slippery slope, and doesn’t really improve the current dating experience on OkCupid (or any site). As the study noted, as soon as the pictures were revealed, people went back to their old patterns of behavior.

Facebook and OkCupid aren’t the only sites studying user behavior, and probably aren’t the only sites conducting experiments on users. But before we continue down this path, it’s important to ask: who are these studies really benefitting? Are they helping us to become more open-minded daters? So far, not really.

The study succeeded in making online daters even more cynical about online dating. How do they know if what OkCupid is telling them about compatibility or ratings is true? It makes the already confusing world of dating a little less friendly and upfront. Dating needs more honesty, not less.

Just when you think Facebook couldn’t possibly get any bigger than it already is, it goes and shatters all expectations. For the 8^th quarter in a row, Facebook’s earnings beat projections.

Much of that growth is in mobile, where Facebook is growing twice as fast as it is compared to its services as a whole. Facebook currently logs 654 million daily mobile users and 1.07 billion mobile users each month. Thanks to the continued increase in smartphone usage, 62% of the social network’s ad revenue came from mobile in Q2. In total, Facebook now has 829 million daily users and 1.32 billion monthly users. Altogether, they are responsible for a spectacular 2^nd quarter for Facebook. The company beat Wall Street’s estimated earnings of $2.81 billion to end Q2 2014 with $2.91 billion in revenue.

Here’s how that stacks up against Q1 2014:

• Facebook's total user count is up 3.125% from 1.28 billion total monthly users to 1.32 billion
• Total daily user count is up 3.36% from 803 million to 829 million
• Monthly mobile user count is up 5.9% from 1.01 billion to 1.07 billion
• Daily mobile user count is up 7.4% from 609 million to 654 million

Revenue isn't the only way Facebook is exceeding expectations. Some critics have said the social network is losing its influence with Western users, but its monthly user count in the USA and Canada grew by 2 million this quarter. And for anyone who dared to suggest that Facebook wouldn't survive the transition from desktop to mobile, Facebook's 391 million mobile-only users dwarf its 240 million desktop-only users.

Internationally, Facebook is showing equally impressive numbers. Ad revenue is up everywhere, and the site hit an all-time high average revenue per user in every region around the world.

The only low point was payments revenue, which Facebook largely derives from the 30% tax on the in-app purchases from its Web games platform. Total payments revenue dropped slightly to $234 million from $237 million in Q1. On the plus side, it's still up 9% compared to Q2 2013.

On the horizon for Facebook now is the launch of Facebook Audience Network, the company’s mobile ad network that will bring in revenue by incorporating its targeted ads in other companies' apps. Another big development is Slingshot, a photo and video messaging app that Facebook hopes will be a competitor for Snapchat.

When asked for his thoughts on Facebook’s remarkable 2^nd quarter, all CEO Mark Zuckerberg had to say was “We had a good second quarter. Our community has continued to grow, and we see a lot of opportunity ahead as we connect the rest of the world.”

To find out if this social network makes a good dating tool you can read our Facebook review.

If you’ve been anywhere near a news source lately, you probably heard about Facebook’s big news feed experiment. The social network manipulated the news feeds of hundreds of thousands of users to see if the emotion they absorbed through reading content on their news feeds impacted the emotion they later displayed in their own posts. People were, unsurprisingly, not too psyched at the revelation that Facebook had toyed with their emotions.

Shortly afterwards OkCupid revealed that it, too, has experimented on users, and the furor started again. In their most recent experiment, OkCupid told users — falsely — that they’re compatible in order to spark more conversations. As a result, OkCupid found that perceived compatibility is just as effective as real compatibility.

Reactions to both experiments have been mixed. Some have said that OkCupid’s testing is less controversial than Facebook’s. Others have called the OkCupid experiment worse than Facebook’s. What everyone seems to agree on is that they’re not quite sure if they should be upset or not. On one hand, lying to customers seems like an obvious faux-pas. But on the other hand, isn’t that just how the Internet works?

As Josh Constine noted in a TechCrunch post, by using services like Google, Twitter, LinkedIn and yes, Facebook, we agree to be part of experiments that change the way we experience the sites. The experiments are called A/B tests, and companies use them to figure how to encourage users to visit a site longer or click more things. This is nothing new.

However, there may be some room for concern. In academia, research involving human subjects is severely limited and carefully monitored by review boards to ensure that it is not deceptive and harm is minimized. Where companies are concerned, there’s no such thing as a review board. It’s up to the companies themselves to abide by the core principles of ethical research.

So how should you feel about Facebook’s and OkCupid’s experiments?

Any way you want. Unlike those two companies, I’m not here to manipulate into doing or feeling anything.

But if asked to take a stand, I’d have to put myself pro-OkCupid and less-than-convinced about Facebook. Facebook deliberately tried to change users’ emotions for the worse by manipulating content in their feeds, all without their consent. It’s hard to get behind that, no matter how much you enjoy psychological studies. For OkCupid, I’m willing to give a pass. At the end of the day, those kinds of experiments are just OkCupid doing its job. Without testing, OkCupid would never improve its ability to match users – and that’s the whole reason we’re there in the first place.