Technology

Remember the three-day rule? Well, you can forget about waiting to make that call and a lot of other advice that might have worked in the dating scene ten years ago.

Now in the age of GPS-based apps like Tinder that can hook you up with someone instantly, and the way we communicate primarily via text rather than phone calls, this kind of advice falls short. Now that we have instant access (and therefore expect more immediate gratification), we don't have the time or patience to sit around and wait. After all, there could be five other hot men (or women) to meet in the meantime.

So how do you navigate the new digital dating world with so much access to new people - whether it's online dating, mobile dating, or meeting through Facebook? What are some guidelines to help figure out when to contact someone and how?

Following are some new tips to get you started:

Get familiar with technology. If you're new to the dating scene then it's important not to dismiss technology when it comes to helping you find someone. Online dating is extremely popular, with thousands of singles joining various websites every day. Mobile dating also offers a lot of different options - from apps that connect you to friends of friends on Facebook to those that tell you who is single and within a five-mile radius of where you happen to be in the moment. See what's out there. Don't assume that it's not for you until you try it.

Communicate. Instead of playing coy and waiting around for someone else to make a move, it's good to communicate with him so he knows you're interested. Dating moves very quickly, so if you drop in and out of communication with someone or wait a day or more to answer a text, you could miss out on opportunities. Be consistent - respond in a timely way to texts and emails, and check in with your online dating site often.

Be honest. If you are serious about finding a relationship, then it's important to be honest about who you are. It's easy to pretend to be someone else online and paste old photos on your dating profile or fudge your age or height. But when you start meeting people to date, you're going to have to explain yourself. Be true to who you are, that is the best way to connect to someone else.

Be bold. Good relationships don't just magically happen. They require risk - we have to put ourselves out there, to be willing to show who we are to someone else. If you go solo to that party, or talk to the stranger in front of you in the Starbucks line, or get up the nerve to message that guy you've been eyeing on your online dating site, you are making the effort. These are all small steps, but can lead to something great. Take more risks by putting yourself out there. Love is worth it.

According to Comscore tracking for November 2012 Plenty of Fish mobile visitors accounted for 50 percent of all mobile dating traffic. POF mobile visitors “Average Minutes per Visitor” is also a lot higher than other dating sites Comscore tracks. This means they make up 67.5 percent of the time ALL mobile visitors used when visiting dating sites. I believe the Comscore data of mobile traffic includes web browsing and dating apps for smartphones.

POF also reports that every day their members exchange up to 30 million messages. In the past year to help fix the technology problems this causes all servers (web and database) have been replaced along with their networking equipment to keep up with the demand. To help with their matching and Chemistry Predictor POF will also be building soon a monster CUDA cluster which will have 147,0000 GPU cores. Wow!

To find out more about these statistics you can read the Plenty of fish blog. Hmmm... Markus Frind's blog use to be called the Paradigm Shift ... I wonder when the name changed? You can also find out more about the dating service here and how it works and stacks up against other services.

Heads up, Internet privacy advocates: a new report released in June warns the 7+ million members of OkCupid that the site is "a privacy heartbreak waiting to happen."

Since being acquired by Match.com last year, OkCupid's service terms allow the site to share user data with more than 50 websites owned by Match's parent company, IAC/InterActive Corp., and with IAC partners. The site may even archive data after users have closed their accounts or deleted information from their profiles.

Sarah Downey gives a detailed rundown of OkCupid's privacy weaknesses in the report:

• OkCupid does not support HTTPS, a standard web encryption that ensures secure browsing by sending and receiving information in an encrypted form. Without HTTPS, information appears as plain text. With HTTPS, information looks like random characters. The lack of HTTPS on OkCupid means that anyone on your wireless network could potentially read things like emails, profile info, and the answers to your hidden questions on the site.
• OkCupid uses nine different tracking companies and ad networks to obtain information about its visitors. None are part of OkCupid - all are independent third parties mining user data, like pages visited and time spent viewing a specific profile. The FTC requires dating sites to inform members about how their data will be used, but that information is often hidden deep within confusing terms of use or privacy policies.
• OkCupid can keep your data forever. The site's privacy policy states that it collects OkCupid users' "personal interests, gender, age, education, occupation and certain relationship preferences. . . name, email and photo," along with their browser and IP address. It also says that OkCupid "may keep such information archived indefinitely." But on the bright side, you can email OkCupid at privacy@okcupid.com to request that your information not be shared with others.
• Match's takeover of OkCupid means even more data sharing. Match's parent company owns sites like CitySearch.com, CollegeHumor.com, and Vimeo.com, and IAC's privacy policy allows it to share information freely between the companies it owns. "In other words," Downey writes, "your OkCupid data can be shared freely among the 6th largest online network in the world. Not very private."

So what can you do to protect your data online? "Think twice before posting any content on OkCupid or any other dating website," Downey says. "Even if you delete it later, it may be archived permanently." Use a browser add-on to block trackers and ad networks. Use an alias and an anonymous email addresses. And only provide information that is absolutely necessary - if it's optional, don't fill it in.

For more information on this dating site you can check out our OkCupid review.

Match.com launched in 1995, and the site's popularity is still on the rise. In the highly competitive world of online dating, Match.com consistently ranks highly in dater's minds, and for good reason: their trailblazing technology makes them a cut above the rest.

Codenamed "Synapse," Match's algorithm evaluates a diverse range of factors in order to match compatible singles. David Gelles recently took a look backstage at Match.com for FT Magazine, guided by Mandy Ginsberg, president of Match.com US, and Amarnath Thombre, a key engineer for the company, to discover exactly what makes the Match algorithm so special.

Ginsberg had personal experience with the trials and tribulations of online dating before joining the Match team. After divorcing her spouse shortly after leaving college, she joined JDate but had no luck finding a partner. Love later found her in the form of a co-worker from India, who won her heart despite being vastly different from the man she thought she wanted to marry.

"If I had laid out a criteria for what I was looking for, it would not have been a guy from south India," she told Gelles. "People are complex. You're constantly making trade-offs about who's too tall, too short, too smart and too dumb. People come in and tell us a bit about what they're looking for. But what you say and what you do can be different."

With that idea in mind, known as "dissonance" in academic circles, Ginsberg helped revolutionize Match's approach to online dating. "I might come in and say I'm looking for a nice Catholic guy between 30 and 40 who is non-married," she says. "But after weeks of looking at people, I might get an e-mail from a guy who has kids, and I might accept that." Taking into consideration the fact that most people don't know themselves as well as they think they do, the engineers at Match adapted the algorithm to pair users with potential dates based on a combination of what they say they want and what it seems they actually want based on their actions on the site.

Now, instead of taking user's preferences at face value, Match's cutting-edge technology relies on a variety of factors to match prospective partners. Stated preferences like age range and body type are taken into consideration, while the algorithm augments that information with the knowledge it gains from an intelligent examination of a user's behavior on the site. If a member's actions don't match their stated preferences, Match learns that those preferences are not entirely correct and that the member is open to meeting people who don't fit the original description. Synapse also looks at the behavior of similar users and factors in that information as well, in a process known as "triangulation."

As impressive as Ginsberg's contribution to online dating is, Match's amazing innovations would not be possible without its team of brilliant engineers, like Amarnath Thombre, whose story we'll look at next time.

For more information on this popular dating site you can read our review of Match.com.

Plenty of Fish is looking to hire a Database Administrator (DBA) so if you are interested in the job and have the qualifications you should comment on their blog. Markus also released a few statistics about his dating site and what the DBA will be up against. Last year alone Plenty of Fish sent out 5.5 billion messages. This works out to about 15 million a day. He also noted that Plenty of Fish's Behavioral Matching Engine deals with almost 20 billion pieces of data from their 30 million plus registered users that is stored in their database.

What this all boils down to is POF needs some heavy duty hardware to run its website and a DBA that knows how to optimize databases and SQL statements.

For more information on this free dating service you can read our PlentyofFish.com review.

In May of 2010 ChristianCafe released their iPhone dating app. Well, this month the Christian dating service has released a version for Android phones. Those of you with Android base mobile phones can now enjoy dating on the go. The new app integrates directly with your account on ChristianCafe.com and for those new to this dating site have the option of signing up for a free trial right from your phone.

Features of this new dating app include performing basic and detail searches, viewing profiles and seeing who is online in your area. Photo uploads are a snap to do along with communicating with your matches via email and winks.

For more information about the app you can watch the video tour:



To find out more about this dating site, read our ChristianCafe.com review. To download the app visit the Android Market and search for 'christiancafe'.