Reviews

Now here's something you don't see every day: someone who's trying to encourage you to settle.

Well, it's not really a “someone” so much as it's a “something.” A dating site, in fact. And it has the eye-catching name Settle For Love.

Now, before you turn into a self-help coach and start trashing the idea, hear what it's all about. It isn't so much about lowering your standards and accepting a sub-par partner as it is about embracing imperfection.

“It all started years ago when David was sharing crazy stories he had from meeting people through traditional dating sites,” says Settle For Love's Kickstarter page. “Dates were posting pictures from 10 years ago, hiding that they still lived with their parents, neglecting to mention they hate men, and the list goes on. It seemed traditional dating sites weren't encouraging users to do anything but sell themselves. Through these comical discussions, a clear gap was identified, and our site was born.”

A prototype was launched in 2013. A user's profile included both flattering and unflattering pictures, laid out the pros and cons of dating them, and explained what they'd be willing to settle for in a partner. The hope was that happier, healthier relationships would be the result of a more honest approach to dating. Besides, as the Kickstarter notes, “someone’s 'imperfection' may actually be an attractive quality to the right match.”

Self-awareness and a smidge of self-deprecating humor can be incredibly attractive. And there's something nice about knowing that a person can admit to their flaws. You're going to find out about them anyway – might as well list them all up front, right? That way you can decide immediately if you're actually compatible, instead of wasting time with someone only to discover after months that you're not a match.

Unfortunately, the Kickstarter failed to get full funding, but the idea is still an intriguing one. If someone could do the same idea – but bigger, better – would it stand a chance against other dating sites? Are people ready to focus more heavily on what's inside, or are we secretly all shallow regardless of what we say we want? And would taking the imperfections-first approach actually improve relationships in the long run, or just make us even more likely to reject people without actually taking the time to get to know them?

It looks like we won't know for sure this time, but I'm curious to hear what you have to say. Share your thoughts in the comments.

A new crop of dating apps are positioning themselves for the needs of the ever-changing online dating market by declaring themselves “Anti-Tinder” apps. And it seems people are ready to welcome something new.

Despite the popularity of Tinder, there’s been a big backlash against this type of “hot-or-not” dating app. The world of online dating has become bigger and easier to join, and as a result, daters jump from one profile to the next, on a seemingly endless search for someone "better." In other words, daters are fast adapting an ADD mentality towards dating. The attention span of most daters is about as long as it takes to swipe left.

If you like the results that you’ve achieved through Tinder, you can stop reading this now. However, most of the people I’ve talked to like the accessibility of Tinder, but they don’t like the endless stream of matches that go nowhere beyond a couple of texts.

Enter the latest “Anti-Tinder” dating app Talk or Not. Talk or Not hides the photos of its users so matches aren’t made by looks alone. According to its release, it allows users more control by “revealing user photos piece by piece only when a conversation is mutually exchanged.” In other words, you get to see if someone is hot or not only after you have a conversation.

Talk or Not was developed by graphic designer Britney Bachmann and content specialist Garrett Shawstad, who were both online dating and wanted a different experience than what Tinder provided. “It’s an odd thing to put yourself out there for the world to see,” said Shawstad, summing up the need for more privacy and selectiveness when it comes to online dating.

But Talk or Not isn’t the first app to compete with the likes of Tinder by putting conversation before photos. Dating app Willow, launched back in August of last year, is the creation of 23-year-old Michael Brunch, who also wanted to create an app with a “talk first, reveal photos later” philosophy. “We believe the best way to get to know someone, and find out whether you like them, is by talking to them,” the app’s website states. “A good relationship begins with a good conversation.”

Twine Canvas, launched in early 2014 also hides the photos of its users to be revealed once a connection is made. Rather than focus on conversation however, it is more visually-based, encouraging users to post photos of what they are interested in and let connections flow from there. Even dating app Anomo lets users hide their photos behind avatars, only revealing what they actually look like when they feel comfortable enough with a match.

Is more privacy a good thing when it comes to online dating, or just another marketing gimmick? It’s hard to tell at this point – but one thing is for sure: you can’t tell if there is attraction with potential matches until you meet in real life. So maybe instead of all the games, you cut to the chase sooner rather than later to determine if you’re a good fit.

It was really only a matter of time.

Beards have become such an integral part of pop culture it's almost surprising this hasn't happened sooner. Finally, the world has a dating app for men with beards and those who love them. The app is called Bristlr, because we now live in an era when E is an uncool vowel.

On the surface, Bristlr is exactly what you think it is. The app is a slightly tongue-in-cheek service that taps into the hipster/lumbersexual thing that's happening right now, and has no problem laughing at itself. The description of how Bristlr works is simply:

• Tell us where you are, and if you have a beard
• Got a beard? We find people looking for beards
• Want a beard? We find people with beards worth looking for
• Send messages to people you like and who like you
• Your life now contains more beard love, you're welcome

And then there's the to-the-point explanation of what Bristlr is: “There are many people with beards who like to have them stroked. And there are many people who don’t have beards, but would like to stroke them. Bristlr is the link between the two.”

And let's not forget the handy FAQ answer to “Is this a joke?” which reads: “In the sense that it’s a little ridiculous, yes. But Bristlr is a real thing being made.”

So yeah, it's a little funny. And Bristlr knows it's a little funny. And that's why it stands to be totally great.

Actually, it's just one of the reasons Bristlr could be your new favorite dating site. Although the premise is just the slightest bit silly, Bristlr is taking on some issues that are absolutely serious. Chief among them is the problem of spam. No matter who you are or what dating services you've used, you're bound to have come across the kind of lame, boring, generic messages that you know have been copy/pasted to tons of other people.

But not on Bristlr, because Bristlr informs you when a message has been sent to other people, as well as how many other people it's been sent to. It isn't complicated functionality to make, but Bristlr is one of – if not the – first to actually do it. Cool, right?

In addition to that handy little tool, Bristlr also lets users grade the quality of the messages they receive. If people regularly rate you highly, indicating that you spend a thoughtful amount of time on your messages, you'll receive a little star on your profile.

Founder John Kershaw says he's also considering adding Facebook-style status updates to the site, to encourage even more personality, honesty and transparency.

Honesty and transparency on dating sites? Yes, apparently it is possible. Thanks, Bristlr.

Bye Felipe has become an Instagram sensation, with female daters posting their awkward, annoying, uncomfortable and sometimes even harassing message trail with other online daters, mainly men. It seems that in the wake of Tinder’s popularity, there have been a few casualties and women are looking for a more genuine tool to meet guys, sans the weird pick-up lines.

While there isn’t a dating app that can screen or prevent all creeps from making their way into your matching possibilities, at least some apps give women the power to decide what we will and will not tolerate.

Following are a few to watch for in 2015:

Bumble. While I’m not a fan of how this app came about – it’s the brainchild of Whitney Wolfe, one of the former Tinder executives who also filed a sexual harassment lawsuit against co-founder Justin Mateen. And since she walked away with a bit of money from a settlement, she has decided to launch her own dating app, where women decide who they want to meet (and have 24 hours to make that decision before the option disappears). According to its marketing, the app “promotes a safe and respectful community…Bumble suggests matches based on more relevant signals than other, more shallow apps.”

LuLu. This has been around for a couple of years, allowing women to rate their dates and share information about men with other female app users. While LuLu sounds like it has the potential to be a giant slam book, many women also use it to promote their guy friends who are looking for love – kind of an online voucher for a guy’s character. The Grade is another new app that has a similar kind of review system through – you guessed it – grading them. If you get an “F” guys? You’re off the site.

Siren. True to its name, Siren allows women to put a question out to men they choose on the site (or to all men in their area) to schedule a last-minute date. For instance, a woman could ask: “want to meet up for a jog?” - and then see who responds. She can also browse profiles in private without revealing herself.

JessMeetKen. This online dating site works through Facebook connections, and allows women to post a profile of their male friends who are looking for love, recommending them to other women. (Think of that guy you really like but just aren’t attracted to.) The guys all come recommended by a woman, so it’s less likely the men you’ll be meeting will be creepers, which makes it worth it even if you aren’t a match.

Happy dating!

Get out of the pajamas. Put down the Seamless delivery containers. Log out of Netflix. It's time to make a change around here.

If you've been avoiding online dating like the plague, no one would blame you. Sometimes it feels like online dating is a plague, except instead of the usual symptoms this plague comes with shirtless mirror selfies, terrible pickup lines, and unwanted dick pics.

Luckily, there's a new crop of dating apps designed to prevent exactly that. These apps hope to decrease the creep factor that's keeping many women away from mobile dating, by offering women more control over the process. Try out these five female-friendly dating apps in 2015:

Tinder only launched in 2012, but already new apps are trying to make its popular “hot-or-not” visually-based format a thing of the past. TrueView, a new location-based dating app wants its users to take dating a little more seriously.

TrueView is based out of London, and its founders advocate a switch from Tinder to improve not only your dating experience, but your odds of matching with someone at all. As many people as there are logging on to Tinder regularly, TrueView points out there are 998 million rejections daily.

The app works more like a social media platform than a traditional dating app. Similar to an app like Zoosk, TrueView logs a person’s actual behavior while using the app so users have a better, “truer” view of who they really are. Users are encouraged to share things they love to do (while they are doing it), discovering people who have similar interests. The app has a “stuff to do” section which lists events, clubs, restaurants, sports and concerts in your local city. The “news” section keeps you up to date on the things most important to you, and prompts more discussions.

The idea behind TrueView is that you can have a more organic conversation online first to see if you’re interested in someone before you meet him/her – as opposed to just swiping through photos.

True View was inspired by Andrew Ibbotson, one of the founders whose real-life online dating experience left him frustrated. He was tired of the hook-up scene and a lot of matches that led to nothing, spending more time and money for very little return. He wanted to create a better experience for himself, so he teamed up with friends Matt Verity and Damian Mitchell. They came up with the idea of a service that uses what they call "real-time micro-blogging" to make two people meeting feel more organic – and True View was born.

Tinder is still the app to beat, despite all the recent apps who are trying to outdo it, like TrueView. But it seems there is room for a new player, since even the celebrities who made it popular are now starting to turn against it. As actor Sam Smith said: "No offence to people who go on Tinder, but I just feel like it's ruining romance...why would I swipe people who are 'unattractive' when I could potentially fall in love with them?" 

TrueView is betting the people who become disillusioned with Tinder will look to the app for a new experience. While this may be true, it has hit some bumps along the way. According to a dozen reviews in the Google Play store, people are encountering some bugs with the technology, but they have had a few thousand installs so far.

TrueView is available on both iTunes and Google Play. Currently, the app isn’t available yet in the U.S.