Online Dating

In a bygone era, online dating was heavily stigmatized. It was considerd the province of desperate weirdos and would-be ax murderers, while the rest of us upstanding citizens were stuck dating the old fashioned way.

Today things are different. Dating services are so ubiquitous that it's easy to assume they're a requirement for a successful romantic life. The FOMO has fully kicked in – in 2015, if you're not online dating, you live in constant fear that you're missing out on something, and someone, amazing.

But hang on. Is that any better? We agree that pressuring people out of online dating was a bad idea, so why are we ok with the opposite?

Newsflash: it's the 21^st century and you can date however you want. If you love Tinder, swipe until carpal tunnel sets in. If you don't, delete the app and don't look back. Maybe online dating isn't for you and that's a-ok.

How do you know it's time to quit digital dating? If any of the following sounds like you, it's time to take a cue from Frozen and let it go.

• Your offline social life is suffering. Online dating is supposed to make you more connected with people, not less. Pings and push notifications should not distract you from real life interactions. You don't want to be the person who's out and about but constantly glued to their phone.
• You're constantly stressed out about it. Why so serious? Dating is supposed to be fun, but it's easy to forget that when you know hundreds of potential mates are only a click away. Maybe you feel obligated to meet a monthly quota of dates, or to upload a new picture every day, or to answer each message as soon as it arrives. Pause. Breathe. Anxiety and neurotic behavior should not be side effects of online dating.
• You're not yourself online. You're told over and over again that it's important to put your best foot forward. And it is, but take that to extremes and you may find you don't even recognize the person in the profile. If your perfect online identity doesn't match the offline one at all – especially if you don't even like the fake person – kill them off and try something new.
• You're too picky, shallow, or indecisive. Online dating can bring your not-so-flattering qualities straight into the spotlight. With so many romantic possibilities at our finger tips, we tend to get unfairly picky and shallow – more so than we would be in real life. We're constantly worried that if we choose someone, we're missing someone better. And that might mean not choosing at all.

And finally, the #1 reason to quit online dating: you're over it.

Yes, even in 2015, it's totally ok to decide you're just not that into online dating. If you're bored, and doing it out of obligation instead of actual interest, kiss the computer goodbye. Some breakups are for the best.

Snapchat put ephemeral communication on the map. Now Buzz is taking it to the next level with a more conversation-focused app.

Buzz dumps self-destructing messages in favor of self-destructing connections. All connections made on the app automatically expire after 72 hours, unless both parties choose to continue chatting. Frequent online daters will immediately see the value in the service.

It's nerve-racking to give your digits to a stranger, even if their profile is perfect and your conversation is going well. Apps like Burner or kik alleviate some fears but aren't perfect solutions. Some only offer paid accounts. Others allow people to find you by username, even though your phone number is private.

Buzz attempts to solve these problems for daters who are extremely conscientous about safety. Users only have to add a photo, name and gender to sign up. Afterwards, the app provides a temporary, unique identifier called a 'Buzz Code.'

Users can add each other in the app using the code. After connecting, a conversation expires after 72 hours unless both users indicate that they would like to continue talking. If both say no, or only one says yes, the connection self-destructs and the parties can no longer communicate.

If users do want to keep the conversation going, it can continue within the app. And, of course, conversations can also stop at any point before the 72 hours if things take a creepy or boring turn.

For now, your Buzz Code is not permanent and can be changed whenever you want. Changing your code does not affect your existing connections. Buzz also plans to offer disposable “vanity” codes as an in-app purchase in the future, which would allow users to create their own handles.

Buzz is the brainchild of Matthew Groves, Brian Albright and Hanna Xu. The three co-founders met while working at the messaging app Tango, where they honed their skills before leaving to launch their own venture.

Buzz has been tested with a small group of beta users, but its real test begins now that it is available to the public. The app's creators hope that online daters’ increased concerns about privacy, combined with the weak points of other messaging apps, will allow Buzz to stand out in its niche.

It's still too early to tell if Buzz will catch on, but its hard not to be intrigued by an app that eliminates the need for fake phone numbers, spam-only email addresses and disposable account information.

Buzz is free to download on iOS and Android.

Most guys assume they can upload a few photos to Tinder and they are ready for online dating. But in reality, after several messages go unanswered and matches disappear, they are often left wondering – what did I do wrong?

The truth is, online dating is a lot more complex than swiping left and right and hoping it leads to some real-life interaction. Think of it this way: when you approach an attractive woman in person, do you get results if you just tell her you think she’s pretty? Most of the time, a lot more effort is required. Women are told they are attractive by guys all the time – so you have to stand out from the crowd.

When you’re online dating, it’s the same. Women are inundated with matches and messages – much more so that the average guy. Most women like it when a man pursues and takes charge, rather than leaving her to do all the heavy lifting. So if you want to improve your online dating game, the first thing to do is put in a lot more effort. The following are 5 tips for online dating:

State what you are looking for.

Most women don’t want to date a guy who is vague or ambiguous about what he’s after. If you say “I’m up for anything” or “let’s see where things go” you’ve already lost her vote. Why should she reach out to you when you aren’t sure what you want? Women don’t want to be kept guessing, they want to know who you are and what you want – whether it’s a hook-up or a relationship - so tell them.

Share what makes you happy.

If you can describe what you love via a photo, then use it. People are visual creatures and you will capture more attention if you show what you love to do – surfing, playing guitar, whatever. Also, instead of saying you like movies, talk about the last movie you saw and what you liked about it. The details are important, so you don’t sound generic.

Watch your words.

When you message a woman, keep in mind that “ur hot” has been used before. A lot. Don’t speak in text, speak in sentences, and make it interesting. Talk about something you saw in her profile, or ask her what she did the day before to keep her engaged.

Make the plans.

There’s nothing hotter than a guy who takes charge and acts like a grown-up. Ask her out. Tell her where to meet you. Do a little research in advance, and show up on time.

Leave out the negatives.

She doesn’t want to hear about your ex girlfriend, the women you’ve dated who didn’t work out, or any other past romance. Keep it focused on the present, and on the possibility with someone new. The past is in the past – leave it there.

There’s no doubt about it: JDate is a big name in the world of online dating, and when it wants something, it will go to great lengths to get it. And recently, its parent company Spark Networks decided that it wanted popular dating app JSwipe, owned by Smooch Labs. The two companies struck a deal in late October, and now JSwipe is one of the dating properties of Spark Networks, along with dating sites Christian Mingle and Black Singles in addition to JDate.

JSwipe, which launched in April of 2014, has grown rapidly, with over 450,000 downloads worldwide and over 40 million messages between users. The dating app was definitely posing some competition to JDate, and attracting a younger user base who prefer apps to the traditional dating websites. This made the company an attractive target for Spark Networks, JDate’s owner.

In fact, JSwipe and JDate have had a tumultuous dating history, so to speak. Earlier this year, Forbes broke the story that JDate was suing JSwipe for copyright infringement because JSwipe was using the trademark “J” in the name of their app. In the lawsuit, JDate also claimed it owned the patent on software that “confidentially determines matches and notifies users of mutual matches in feelings and interests,” which would ultimately interfere with all dating apps using this technology (in other words, all dating apps).

JSwipe at first fought back, going to the press with the story of the lawsuit and calling out JDate for trying to shut the app down. JSwipe also started an IndieGoGo fundraising campaign to help them fight the lawsuit against JDate, assumingly because they didn’t have the funds to fight on their own. As it turns out, either the company ran out of money, or JDate put forth a really compelling offer, which Spark Networks said they would reveal later in the company’s 4^th quarter financial statements.

The lawsuit has been dropped and Sparks Networks put out a press release, praising the new relationship between JDate and JSwipe. Michael Egan, Chief Executive Officer of Spark Networks, stated in the release, “We’re very excited to welcome the Smooch Labs team into Spark.  They’ve created a fantastic mobile application that helps young Jews meet and form meaningful relationships, and together with JDate, our leading Jewish focused dating platform, Spark is now able to significantly build on its mission to strengthen the Jewish community through dating and marriage.” David Yarus, founder of JSwipe had equally glowing statements about the union.

While JSwipe remains free to download right now, Sparks Networks has promised that new paid premium services will be rolled out in the near future. For more information on JDate you can read our review of JDate.

If Tinder has been a sea of left swipes lately, the app's recently announced update could change your luck for the holidays. Tinder’s founder Sean Rad announced forthcoming changes to the algorithm during Ireland’s Web Summit on November 4.

The update is set to be Tinder's biggest yet. "It's been our mission since day one to uncover ... every possible meaningful relationship," Rad told Mashable. In service of that goal, Rad says the company is looking to "reduce the barriers to people connecting" and help them form "deeper connections." He claims the upcoming changes will boost connections made on the dating app by 30%.

Unfortunately, actual details about the algorithm update are scarce. Tinder has not yet made a formal announcement and is keeping mostly mum until then. Rad only said to expect a "series of things you're going to see that will help you make more sense of the sheer volume of people around you and build deeper connections...and more ways to connect."

What Tinder is talking about is its reputation as a “hookup app,” which its eager to shed. Rad made yet another attempt to distance the company from that status, adding that 80% of users are looking for long-term relationships.

This year has seen Tinder release features designed to make the app more engaging. Not long ago it launched 'Super Like' - a function that can only be used once a day to let a user know you really (like, really really) like them. Rad compares it to walking over and saying hi to someone, instead of winking at them from across the room.

The CEO also shared some of Tinder's impressive numbers with the Web Summit. The app currently receives 1.6 billion swipes per day, 26 million matches per day and 9 billion total matches since its debut in 2012. As a result of those swipes, 1.5 million in-person dates stem from Tinder each week. More than half of those make it to a second date.

Up next, Tinder will focus on monetization. Most of the company's revenue currently comes from Tinder Plus, a paid service that allows users to search outside of their geographical location and undo swipes. Advertising hasn't yet hit the app in a major way, but there will be a bigger focus on ads in the near future.

Rad is nothing if not confident about Tinder's success. "There is no doubt that Tinder is increasing the number of connections in this world," he said. "We are bringing the world closer together at a scale that no platform has ever been able to do and in that sense, we are changing the world."

For more on this popular dating app, please read our Tinder review.

Forget Black Friday. Forget Cyber Monday. China’s Singles' Day is now the world’s biggest online shopping bonanza.

The holiday, an anti-Valentine's Day for single people, traces its origins back to Nanjing University in 1993. Students began celebrating the single life annually on November 11, a date chosen because of the connection between singlehood and the number 1. Upon graduation many continued the tradition and the celebration of Singles' Day is now widespread amongst young Chinese people.

To mark the occasion, Chinese singles party with other single friends. The festivities can include a special breakfast, karaoke and blind date parties hosted in attempt to end singlehood as soon as possible. Singles' Day has also become the largest online shopping day in the world, with sales in e-commerce giant Alibaba's sites Tmall and Taobao clocking in at US$9.3 billion in 2014.

Yes, $9.3 billion. That’s more than the total U.S. online sales on Black Friday and Cyber Monday combined in 2014. And no one got run over in a tragic store stampede.

Singles' Day shopping originated with Alibaba, but today merchants throughout China participate. Shoppers can score major deals on clothing, cosmetics, electronics and even food. Looking at the numbers will make your head spin:

• Alibaba's Singles' Day 2015 selection will include 6 million products from more than 40,000 merchants, and over 30,000 brands from 25 countries
• China’s post office estimates that nearly 800 million packages will be shipped as a result of the hoilday
• A Nielsen survey found that 56 percent of more than 1,000 internet users in China said they would increase spending compared with 2014
• Consumers are expected to spend an average of $277 per person, up 22 percent year on year
• Alibaba estimates that 1.7 million deliverymen, 400,000 delivery vehicles, 5,000 warehouses and 200 airplanes will be necessary to handle the deliveries

If predictions are accurate, 2015 could be the biggest year yet for retailers on Singles' Day. Alibaba sales could hit $10 billion in a 24-hour period.

"It's not a huge surprise that consumers are planning to spend more during this year's 'Double 11,'” Yan Xuan, President of Nielsen Greater China, told CNBC. “Income levels and internet penetration continue to rise throughout China, so this is a natural progression.”

Singles' Day is also expanding worldwide. Five thousand overseas brands from 25 countries – including the U.S, Europe, Japan and South Korea – will be available this year. This year's international participants include Costco, LG Electronics, Walt Disney Co., Fisher-Price and Lego. In recent years, Apple, Calvin Klein, Macy's and Burberry have participated.

Perhaps Singles' Day itself will soon be a global phenomenon.