Online Dating

Spark Networks, owner of JDate and ChristianMingle, has launched a brand-new iPhone app. Named simply Spark, the new app turns the swipe into a way to make conscious, informed dating choices.

The world of dating apps isn't exactly sparse. Far from it. And users are used to seeing the same features over and over again. So what sets Spark apart?

Spark is both free and ad free. It also pulls user profiles directly from Facebook, making it exceptionally easy to use. Its most distinctive feature is that Spark, unlike other dating apps, offers ‘swiping with a choice.’ Instead of mindlessly swiping past single profiles at a time, Spark users compare multiple profiles simultaneously.

Spark presents two pictures, one on top of the other. Tap a picture to bring up more information on the person. Swipe up or double tap to select your favorite and, if it's a match, the two of you will be able to message each other within the app. If it's not a mutual match, communication isn't allowed.

If you're not interested in either profile, you can tap the “Skip” button to receive two new profiles. You can skip up to five times within a 24-hour period. If you run out of skips, you can either wait for them to be replenished or purchase points within the app, which can then be used towards additional skips.

“After matching on most other dating apps, many users realize the match is not a good fit and don’t pursue additional communication. The Spark dating app’s unique interface changes this behavior by encouraging each person to take a moment to learn a bit more about their matches,” said Michael Egan, Chief Executive Officer, Spark Networks. “This process helps members to be more selective, which ultimately leads to better matches and better dates!”

Spark is very new on the online dating scene, but it has potential. A minimal profile and simple swipe suffice if physical attraction is what you're looking for, but if you're on the hunt for a more serious relationship, Spark's dual profiles could be the answer. The process encourages users to pause, spend more time reading profiles, and get a deeper understanding of their potential dates.

The Spark dating app launched on August 27 and has so far been a success. It was featured as a “Best New App” on iTunes and registered over 10,000 users in the first five days. iTunes also continues to feature it in their list of the top 100 Free Social Networking apps.

eHarmony is offering a free trial this weekend here in the United States. It starts Friday October 2nd and ends at the end of the day on Monday October 5th. The sooner you register the longer you will have to communicate with your matches for free. No credit card is required.

The days are getting noticeably shorter and the air is turning crisp. Summer is over and everyone is back from their vacations. Fall is here. A good time to try a bold adventure in life is when a new season is upon us. If your dating life is stuck in a rut and is going no where, online dating is the recommended solution. If you are interested in finding a quality partner for a long-term relationship then eHarmony is a good dating site to try. With free communication weekends at eHarmony you can create a profile, receive matches, and communicate with those matches for no cost. To get started it just takes about 45 minutes of your time before you will be reviewing your potential matches. eHarmony can be accessed via your web browser or through an app from iTunes and Google Play. During free weekends all members can communicate so this means it is an extra busy time, which is good for you.

Free communication events at eHarmony do not include: the phone service called secure call, skipping the guided communication process, and viewing of profile photos. For more information on this popular dating service you can check out our review of eHarmony.

This could be the best news you'll hear all day. Maybe even all year. A proposed Tinder-style app promises to take 'Netflix and chill' to a whole new level.

There's no one who isn't obsessed with Netflix (except perhaps the jealous haters who don't have it), so it seems only natural that someone would find away to turn your love of Netflix into actual love. With a human.

The new service is, appropriately, called Netfling. Unlike other dating services that match you with people based on shared interests, Netfling matches based on similar taste in Netflix viewing. It starts by logging in with your Netflix info. The app then gathers data from your Netflix account to determine your most-watched shows and movies. After that, you're presented with possible matches and swipe, Tinder-style, to indicate your interest.

Netfling calls itself a way to “find your perfect couch companion” and says that “the secret to a happy relationship isn't communication. It's having the same Netflix taste.” It's, well... it's a bold, and ridiculous, statement, but you can't blame them for trying. Go big or go home. And ridiculous or not, there are bound to be binge-watchers who love the idea.

The truth is, sharing your favorite flicks with a partner or date creates an intimate bond. There's something special about cuddling up on the couch together, and a person's taste in entertainment can tell you a lot about their sense of humor, intelligence, interests and maturity.

This could be big business. Netflix has more than 65 million users as of last count, 42 million in the US alone. Tinder has significantly fewer, at an estimated 50 million (the company hasn't released official figures). If all those single Netflix users could turn their obsessions with Breaking Bad and Friends into matchmaking opportunities, there might be far fewer lonely nights spent in front of laptops.

Of course, the Netflix dating scheme doesn't come without problems. Pretty much everyone was in love with Breaking Bad at one point, so it's hardly a point of differentiation between possible suitors. A more in-depth profile will be needed if you're to decide who is actually a compatible match for you.

There's also the fact that, in the grand scheme of things, liking the same TV shows is hardly a predictor of long-term relationship success. Sure it's nice to watch The Wire together, but is it really a big deal if you don't share favorite TV shows?

We're getting ahead of ourselves. For now, Netfling is only a proposed app. It's waiting on the release of a Netflix API before it can be made. But hey – we can still dream of an efficient way to find an intriguing stranger to share popcorn with.

Online dating is a wonderful thing, but it is a double-edged sword in many respects. We can meet a lot more people this way, but having the ability to meet more people also means we have to suffer through a lot more bad dates. A LOT more.

Let me clarify – this isn’t a bad thing. It’s just the thing that people tend to complain about when it comes to online dating. “There are so many bad ones out there,” is the cry from most. But even if you only had one date a month, chances are you wouldn’t click with most of those dates either. The irony is, most people aren’t romantically suited for each other – a part of online dating that we must come to accept.

The point I’m making is this: you’ll have a lot of first dates. And by comparison, relatively few second dates.

This isn’t to say you are failing at online dating, or that there just aren’t many “good ones” out there. It just means that you (and other online daters) are meeting a lot of people at any given time, and most of them aren’t going to click with you. In fact, most won’t lead to a second date. And that’s okay.

Second dates mean that there is some chemistry felt on both sides, that there might be an opportunity to move forward into a relationship. If one person didn’t feel a connection on the first date, she probably isn’t willing to try again for date number two (although I believe we should error on the side of giving more people an opportunity for a second date, where they will likely be more “themselves” than on a first date). Chemistry is an elusive concept. It is something that is felt – and not always by both people.

If you aren’t getting many second dates and want a bit more success, there are a few things to consider changing. Number one – are you mixing up your meeting place? After a dozen coffee dates at your favorite coffee joint, things can get a little stale. Try branching out and doing something more creative, not necessarily more expensive. Go for a walk in the park or a hike. Try a wine tasting event or strolling a flea market. Try a more inspiring date and it might mean that you have more fun together in general.

If you are expecting instant chemistry or love at first sight with your dates, you’ll be waiting a long time. Most people don’t feel chemistry with someone until they have built up trust. If they do feel chemistry right away, it typically fizzles pretty quickly because you don’t really know each other. Don’t rely solely on your animal instincts. Instead, take things slowly, get to know the person sitting across from you, and don’t take it personally if there is no second date.

When it’s right, there will be many more dates after the second.

There is a temptation many online daters succumb to, perhaps without realizing it. While the point of online dating is to widen your social circles and meet people you otherwise wouldn’t meet in real life, there is unfortunately a timing issue.

Most people start communicating with their matches online before they make plans to meet in person. There is a “getting to know you” phase, complete with flirtations, shared intimacies, and lots of texts back and forth. For some, this process can go on and on for weeks before the two decide to meet in person.

By that time, anticipation has been built. Maybe you throw on your cutest outfit or favorite pair of heels, or style your hair for the occasion. You have butterflies in your stomach, excited to think how well you connected online – so surely you must also connect in person, right?

Not so much. Many online relationships fizzle by the time two people meet and discover that in person, there is just no chemistry between them. Certain personality affectations are hard to guage online, and people get a false sense of who the other person really is when they only communicate online.

For one, it is easier to fantasize when you aren’t seeing each other face to face. Maybe your date is really witty over text, but avoids eye contact in person. Maybe he’s painfully shy, or maybe he’s not exactly what you pictured in your head. Regardless, there is a gap between the person you fantasized about and the person sitting in front of you.

Secondly, people tend to cultivate a false sense of intimacy online. It’s easy to share more personal information when you aren’t looking each other in the eye. When you date in person, there is a more gradual build, as there is a certain level of trust that has to be gained before you open up. When you are only communicating online however, it’s easy to overshare. You can text at all hours, so there aren’t any boundaries for appropriate timing, or what you can feel free to say. Maybe you are more bold about flirting online, and would never say those things to someone in person. So what happens when you finally meet? There is a certain vulnerability that can make both people feel uncomfortable or awkward around each other, which can lead to a lack of chemistry.

And lastly, you don’t want to maintain an online relationship with someone who keeps putting off meeting you in person. They might not be who they claim they are. Do you really want to make an emotional investment in someone who isn’t eager to meet you in person, no matter the reason?

It is better to meet in real life sooner rather than later. Don’t build up an online relationship thinking it’s the same thing as actually dating. It’s not. Meeting face to face is the only way to assess how compatible and attracted to each other you are.

You'd be forgiven for thinking dating is an extrovert's game. With all the messaging and the meeting and the inevitable talking, dating sounds like an introvert's nightmare. The kind where you wake up screaming and then realize you've wet the bed.

But even the shyest of the shy need love and companionship, right? Online dating is for everyone, and in fact may even offer advantages for introverts.

First, online dating can be done from the comfort of your own home (or whatever space you're most comfortable in). Second, it doesn't involve any of the pressures of meeting via traditional methods, like striking up conversations with strangers or jostling for space in crowded bars. And third, it eliminates the pressure of needing to having insightful, witty, flirty conversations on the fly – all of your communication can be done thoughtfully, on your own time, over a series of messages.

With that in mind, here are 5 tips for introverts dipping their toes in the online dating waters.

1. Proceed at your own pace. Your friends are swiping like crazy and you'd almost swear they go on dates 10 days a week. Don't feel pressure to do the same. Go on one date a week, one date every two weeks – whatever works for you. And if it ever feels overwhelming, take a break.
2. Be honest in your profile. Own your introversion. You can outright call yourself an introvert in your profile or, if that's uncomfortable for you, indicate it in more subtle ways. Mention how much you value quiet time, or how happy you are curled up with a book. Drop enough hints and people will get the picture.
3. Choose your dating service wisely. Some dating services may be more suitable than others. A site highly focused on compatibility, like eHarmony, may make you feel more at ease. Or a service like Bumble, that only lets you communicate if mutual interest is established. Or perhaps a personality-specific niche site, like ShyPassions.com.
4. Screen carefully for compatibility. Isn't that what everyone is doing online? Well, yes, kind of, but this is about something very specific. If going out every weekend isn't your style, avoid profiles with tons of party pics. If, on the other hand, you're looking for someone to bring you out of your shell, perhaps the party pics are exactly what you need.
5. Share your interests. So you're not into loud clubs and vodka-soaked dance floors. That's OK. Tell people what you are interested in. You'll attract suitors who are interested in similar things and – added bonus – possibly have a first date built right in.