Dating

Have you seen this video on what it will be like to date with Google Glass yet?

Yes, it's funny. Yes, it's over the top. But you've gotta admit that it makes you wonder...

Will the introduction of Google Glass actually have an impact on your love life? Would you be willing to date someone who wore Google Glass on a date? In a recent NBC News article, Rosa Golijan decided to give it a try.

First, the basics: Google Glass is a head-mounted computer with a camera, microphone, bone-conducting speaker, and a whole bunch of sensors. It connects to the Internet using a Wi-Fi network or by tethering to a smartphone. It's capable of pretty much everything your smartphone is: it can take pictures, record video, initiate video chats, send messages, search Google, and more.

Golijan jumped wholeheartedly into her experiment, wearing Google Glass for most of her waking hours. Her first impressions were positive. "It's difficult to imagine that bringing technology closer - to one's face - could actually help get it out of the way," she writes, "but that's what happens with Glass. It's tempered my smartphone addiction and reduced the amount of time I spend staring at a screen. I've even rediscovered the fine art of making eye contact with people."

So far, so good.

When she started wearing Google Glass in public, Golijan found that the attention it drew meant wider social possibilities. "Glass doesn't break the ice, it completely melts it," Juan Pablo Risso, a 32-year-old Glass owner, told NBC. At the moment, Google Glass is the ultimate conversation starter.

And that's where things got a little trickier for Golijan. One recent date took it well, but the interruptions from curious strangers could easily have sent the date south with a less understanding partner. Another date didn't enjoy the experience, demanding that she not start talking to anyone else until they'd gotten a drink.

Whitney Casey, a relationship expert for Match.com, says the one rule you need to follow when it comes to Glass and dates is simple: "Don't wear it." Sherrie Schneider, dating coach and co-author of "The Rules," agrees, at least on the first date. "You need to treat Google Glass like any special issue on a first date," she says. "You don't eat meat. You're a Republican. You had breast cancer. Google Glass."

Golijan isn't ready to give up on dating with Google Glass yet, though she does think it's important to follow a few guidelines:

• Don't be rude to strangers inquiring about Glass. It's just as bad as being rude to a server at a restaurant.
• Monitor your date's comfort level with Glass and adjust accordingly.
• Consider taking it off at some point - there's no reason to view your whole dating life through Google-colored glasses.

There are a lot of conflicting rules floating around about texting and dating - no wonder people find it so confusing. Do you text right away to show you're interested, or do you wait to show you're not so available? The answer is not always clear, so what should you do?

According to a recent study by Flirt.com, we shouldn't sweat it so much - and we shouldn't stick to the rules! Men and women view texting practices differently. And apparently, the men are much more open to the women they date reaching out to them.

Forty-nine percent of men and 39% of women will text a date the next day to let him/her know they had a nice time. However, 20% of women are still sticking to the old adage of waiting for him to text first (compared to only 5% of the guys).

Even though we don't have to worry about the three-day waiting period to call someone back, the study found it is good to be concerned about how frequently you're texting your date. Texting habits mean different things to each gender. For the women, if a guy sends more than ten texts a day she considers it to be creepy. Men on the other hand are more than happy to have her text - with almost half saying she should text as much as she wants.

Are you worried about looking too available? There's no need, ladies. A whopping 82% of men surveyed said they would be happy if after they suggested a date a woman let him know she was available to go out any night that week. Not so for the ladies. Thirty-eight percent of women said they'd be freaked out if a man made himself too available.

And how do you sign off? Is it too risky to add an "xo" to the end of a text, maybe as a flirtation? According to the study, 48% of men and 41% of women aren't afraid of signing off with a little kiss. But steer clear of being too "cutesy." Almost 25% of men think that smiley faces are childish.

And what about the biggest complication when it comes to texting - whether or not you should break up with someone over text? Apparently women are a little more cold-hearted. Seventeen percent of them would break up with someone over text, compared to just 13% of men.

Flirt.com surveyed over 2,000 of its members for the study.

For many, online dating sites open up a world that was previously far more difficult to access. Consider, for example, the person who works the night shift; they don’t keep conventional hours, and when they make a rare appearance in the middle of the day, they’re bleary-eyed and thinking of sleep more than romance. Or perhaps the person whose co-workers are all married or in their sixties, when they themselves are in their mid-twenties. Online dating provides opportunities to meet people they wouldn’t have otherwise.

But not everyone lives cut off from available single peers; other people turn to online dating because they’re dissatisfied with the local dating scene, or they have niche interests. Maybe they just like the aspect of being able to express themselves through writing, or ensure that they’re making a good first impression. For these people, online dating sites are a tool to add to their arsenal, but they’re not necessarily their primary option.

However, it can be easy to forget that other options exist besides online dating - and then you run the risk of limiting yourself even more. That’s what happened to “Carrie,” a friend. “I was going out on dates, and things were going well, so I stopped thinking about ‘finding a date’ as much,” she told me. “Then I started developing bad habits without even realizing it.”

“I was compartmentalizing ‘dating’ me and ‘don’t need to worry about dating’ me. I had my pre-established time that I would sit down and write emails and make plans, and the rest of the time I just didn’t think about it. There were some upsides; I was less stressed about that stuff. But if I wasn’t headed out on a date, I didn’t think about how I looked at all. I went to the grocery store in my pajamas more than I want to admit.

“On the one hand, it might’ve been this sort of ‘don’t care’ confidence that actually made me more attractive; there’s a co-worker - I thought he was cute when he first started here but he was seeing someone, and then I got into online dating. Anyway, I didn’t notice when his relationship ended. I didn’t notice when he became interested in me. I didn’t even notice he was flirting with me! Someone had to point it out, like high school! So we’ve been dating for a little while now, and he said I had just seemed so uninterested, he was actually about to give up. I wasn’t uninterested at all - I just wasn’t thinking about dating!”

Carrie’s tale might be a little extreme - how many people can literally turn their romance radar off? - but it makes a good point: while online dating provides a fantastic way to meet new people, that doesn’t mean we stop meeting new people in our everyday lives. For some, it might be healthier to view online dating as just another opportunity out of many; after all, who knows how your story will unfold?

Admittedly, many women have spent way too much time with the wrong man at least once in our lives. If we really want a relationship to work, we will make all kinds of justifications and excuses for a man's behavior - just because we don't want to leave. Unfortunately, this prolongs our unhappiness and delays us in meeting the right man.

Have you ever waited for a man to change? Did you invest in the relationship even when you saw it wasn't working? What was it that made you stay? These might not seem like simple questions to answer, but chances are there's a reason you didn't want to leave.

Following are some reasons you might be staying too long with the wrong man:

You don't want to be alone. Being single is a scary thought, especially if you're used to being in a relationship. If you worry about being alone, then it's important to spend time doing exactly that. One thing you might remind yourself of: it's more lonely to feel alone in a relationship than it is to be single.

He seems like such a great guy. Maybe he checks off a lot of boxes on your "must-have" list. Maybe he's incredibly gorgeous, or charismatic, or a million other attractive things. But if he's not willing to commit after years of dating, or he doesn't treat you with respect, or he avoids having a serious conversation about where the two of you are headed (or about anything else for that matter), he's likely not going to change.

You have incredible chemistry. When you are together, it's like time stops. The chemistry is almost palpable there's so much heat, and you really enjoy each other's company. But then he'll go weeks without calling or seeing you. No matter how awesome he is, or how much he makes you laugh, if he's not there when it counts or is not invested in the relationship, then it's only going to hurt you to keep things going. And he might have someone else on the side.

You keep thinking he'll change. Maybe you've broken up with him a few times, but he keeps coming back, saying he's changed. So you give him another chance, only to be disappointed. It's time to stop taking his word for it and take care of yourself for a change. If a man hasn't shown you that he's really changed, then he probably hasn't.

You are avoiding real intimacy. This might be difficult to hear, but some women stay in a relationship that isn't working because they can avoid true intimacy. It's scary to show who you really are to someone else - it takes complete trust with no guarantees. If you're with someone because he doesn't ask a lot of you, or you don't have to reveal yourself too deeply, then you're missing out. Great relationships are built on this kind of trust in the vulnerability of our partners.

We've all heard the term "gold digger," but how many of you have ever dated one? If you're nodding your head and smiling at my question, you're not alone, I promise.

I have a friend who complains constantly of dating women he refers to as "takers." According to him, they want (and ask for) everything - dinner at fancy restaurants, luxury vacations, someone who will pay down their credit card debt. You name it, he has been asked to provide. When I offered to set him up with a friend of mine, he shook his head, saying he just couldn't date another gold digger, even though he'd never met her. He just assumed she'd be the same.

Now, he is not extremely wealthy, but he has some financial success. Enough to take his dates out to nice restaurants, buy them gifts, and when things go well, take them on trips to Mexico or Hawaii. But here's the problem: they keep asking and he keeps giving. He feels like this is a romantic gesture, a form of wooing.

The truth is, he hasn't set any boundaries for himself and the women he dates. He keeps saying yes to their demands, thinking that all women are like this. He just assumes all of his dates want something from him. No wonder he's completely turned off.

This idea of "takers" doesn't only apply to women looking to be wined and dined. There are plenty of men who are "takers" as well - financial and emotional drains. Perhaps you've dated a man who was perpetually unemployed, who relied on you for housing, money, or other things to meet his needs? This is another form of taking.

When someone takes, there is an unequal balance in the relationship. Relationships aren't balanced 100% of the time - they go back and forth, with each person relying on the other at different times for support. When one side does all the giving and it goes on indefinitely, then the relationship not going to last. Neither side is going to feel happy and fulfilled. Both sides end up resentful.

Instead of blaming others, (because you can't control anybody else's behavior, only your own), try looking at what you can do. It's up to you to set your own boundaries and decide what you are and aren't willing to put up with, as well as what you expect from a relationship.

Instead of offering to pay for so much, try planning dates that aren't so expensive. Take a picnic to the park. Make a home-cooked meal. Do things that show gestures of love and effort rather than expense and see how she/ he responds. Then see if they return the favor and start taking you out, too.

There's no need to feel taken advantage of in dating. The key is, set your own boundaries and stick to them.

Stereotypes aren't always true. While prevailing wisdom indicates that older men like to date younger women, it turns out they aren't the only ones interested in dating younger.

A recent study conducted by dating app Are You Interested, which connects members based on their Facebook profiles, found that women were five times more likely to show interest in a man five years younger than one who is five years older. And as it turns out, the men are a little more open to dating older women. While 42% wouldn't consider reaching out to a woman who was older, if these same men were contacted by an older woman, most would entertain the idea of dating. Only 22% of men said they were less likely to respond when an older woman contacted them first.

Are You Interested pulled data from its 68 million downloads and 20 million Facebook profiles of members to see which ones were making successful matches. From this user base, they focused on 35,942 users aged 30 to 49.

Age seems to be a key factor. Members in their twenties were not considered, and there might be more diversity among them.

According to Are You Interested, one of the reasons for the trend of women going for younger men is that they get inundated with messages from older men, so dating older doesn't hold much appeal. There is something else to consider too, which is the fact that young women in general are putting more time and energy into their careers and education, making more money than their young male counterparts. They have little desire to settle down or to date someone older for reasons of financial security.

So what does this mean if you are online dating? Should you make sure that you don't date anyone more than two or three years older? Should you start limiting your search to profiles of younger men?

Most people do have age preferences, but if you are strict about them when you're online dating, you're missing out on opportunities. If you set age limits, you're more likely to set other hard limits too, like only dating men who live within a ten-mile radius, or who are taller, or who have a certain type of career. The choosier we are, the more people we are not getting the privilege of meeting, which is counter-productive in dating. The more you date, and especially the more you date outside your "type," the more you can draw on a vast array of experiences. Then you can make a truly informed decision about what type of person you want, and what kind of relationship you desire.