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Legit BDSM or fetish dating sites?

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Quote by: Anonymous

I made an account for "" because some bogus review site said it's good for BDSM people, then it turns out to actually be a website called, which I searched and had several bogus reviews, then I found actual user reviews that verified everything is bogus.

ANYWAY, I can find normal women offline easy, but where do I find women into BDSM or fetish-related stuff? It seems inappropriate to post that on normal dating sites. The biggest fetish/BDSM community, fetlife, isn't a dating site and there is not a search engine designed to find matches.

I don't know what to do. I'm young, fit, everything good, but I don't know where to advertise myself where my type of women will see me.

Well on fet if you join groups they have regular meet ups and they are into kink so if you join one of them you can take your chance in person
I’m on fet too

Master Seth, Seth of Tucson

Actually, Fetlife is still the best bet for you. I happen to have been on there since about a year after it started, and I currently "own" a number of groups, where some of your answers can be found.

Two of those are Classified Advertising groups, sort of a Brother Sister pair of groups, where they are complimentary, one for Dom males only and one for female subs only.

I started assisting, the founding owner of those pair of groups, as a moderator, many years ago, and some years later, when he died, I ended up being asked by his widow to take over the ownership of the groups.

The total membership in that pair of groups is now over 20,000, actually, I just checked and the total for the pair is now 20.293.

(6,021 males, and 14,272 females)
There are a lot of very strict rules in those two groups, and I am on there very often, daily at least, sometimes more per day.

Location has to be shown at the beginning of the ads, and other things, such as NO *censored* pictures. Many other thing are also helping make these two groups very popular, such as no flaming, harassment, putting people down, and the women are very highly protected in these two groups. As a result the ration of women to men advertising in my groups reflects the popularity with the women.

If you go to my personal profile on Fetlife, and look down the left side, you will see I also own a number of other Classified Ads Groups, some of which are open to other outlooks, other than limited to just pure dom men seeking sub women. But I do not "work/supervise" those as much.

Here are the names and links for the two most popular of my Classified Ads Groups.

Classified! female sub Types Seeking Male Dom Types

Classified! Male Dom Types Seeking female sub Types

This last one above, is THE ONE you want to run YOUR ad in.
DO NOT put your male ad in the women's group, because you will get DELETED and BANNED from all my groups.
READ THE RULES carefully, before you post your ad.
These rules are WHY these groups are soo popular with women who join and run their ads in my groups.

My personal profile on Fetlife is;
TortureCrucifyWhip 80M Sadist
Tucson, Arizona, United States

My first profile on Fetlife was, and still is:
MasterSeth 80M Master
Tucson, Arizona, United States
(This profile is still open, and refers people to the newer one, so people can find me by the name I am most widely known as, "Master Seth"Wink

More people in this world know me as Master Seth, than my real name which is Robert Ernest Wadlow, same name as the tallest man on record, my 6th cousin, who died in the 1940's, Robert Pershing Wadlow.

I also have a personal website, ( On the Home page, you can find all my contact information, phone for texting, email address, etc.

Most of it is not kept up to date, but the Educational Page ( is pretty up to date. It is the required reading for my students on my teaching of Female Anatomy.

Good luck in your search.

Seth of Tucson

However, on the home page, listed above, you can find my

Master Seth, Seth of Tucson

I am also very active, with several profiles, on CollarSpace, which used to be called

But that website is VERY Poorly run, maintained, and many of the functions have been eliminated, I guess to streamline the loads on the website servers, but it is just a ghost of it's prior self.

It does have search abilities, which Fetlife does not have.
But there are a high percent of fakes, money seekers, travel money scammers, etc. And I have noticed that, in the case of member in Arizona, the same group of women are on there all the time, never go away, which leads me to believe some of those are just "bait profiles" created by the website, and designed to keep people coming back.

I have been a daily active member there since 2009, so I have a very deep understanding of how that website runs.

I have, very rarely, actually seen someone on there who I know in the local BDSM lifestyle. So I know there are at least some legitimate profiles on there.

Good luck
Master Seth,
Seth of Tucson.


I don't think there is one but what worked with me is entering normal dating or marriage & list in my info couple of my dark desires & it worked some girls contact me up on it
I tried these approach in my any marriage or dating site some will not accept it
but you can write it a very different way so that only people familiar with BDSM will know it


I have a feeling that all these sites listed on this forum makes one super moron. On one site it is impossible to specify sex of the partner, on the other it is not possible to register because does not accept mail, on the third something hangs, etc. It is amazing that for such a popular theme no one can create a normal thematic social network

Some Dude

I'm a male sub and have gone through adult friend finder,,, and a few others. I don't have any real revelations but thought I'd toss in my recent, and on-going experience. The scammers are just never ending. is the worst! A few pointers for those unaware. You can use google image search or tineye (or others) to perform a reverse image search. Well, most scammers are so obvious anyway, often can't even type a profile that makes any sense. Poor grammar or weird word usage or obvious giveaways. Or just use common sense - A 22yr hot blonde is NOT going to be a femdom on some BDSM site. If you create a second fake account and just do nothing with it you'll see all the scammer messages roll in. Just another method to quickly weed people out. Members that provide their email address in the first conversation are clearly fake. My suggestion is very early on just state that you will not provide money or personal information until a video chat or face/face happens.

Frankly, the whole BDSM online dating experience has been VERY depressing. I'm not claiming to be Brad Pitt but I'm a 44-yr old jacked guy. And it's a challenge just to get a response from someone that is "potentially" a real user.

Hope you have better luck than me!


The hell with fetlife! Go go go go on! Wink You can search all you want for people who best suit your interests! I'm there and I'm really surprised!

J. Bruce

The only thing that I can say is stay the heck away from SMcult. I got scammed once and attempted scammed several more times, although there are a few legit women on the site. Biggest problem though, is they used my real name for my profile name and would not let me change it and then when I tried (still trying) to have my profile removed, they just won’t.



I have just launched as of May 2019 an alternative lifestyle dating site. I have been looking for a Slave for ever, over five years now and i am thinking the best site for this would be were it not so rubbish. So yeah I am making my own equivalent and would appreciate your support. You can sign up here

My biggest objectives are active profiles and about as many women as men on it..

Do have a look at it, sign up and feed back on site. Try to be active and once you find a mate or not, your account will be deleted if you do not log in every three months.

Good luck.


Having been down the paths mentioned (many of those same BDSM site memberships), and having experienced the frustrations listed (very slim odds for the single guy), I ended up on "OK Cupid." It is a site mostly made up of straight people looking for serious relationships but, if you explore it carefully, you will find a lot of people who are clearly interested in BDSM--it's a question you're asked when you join, and you can search the site for answers to all the survey questions. "Do you like anal sex...a) all the time, b) just when I'm feeling spunky..." etc. I was on OKC for about two years and met several other members in real life. Then, I met...the ONE. She was just "wading in" to the "lifestyle," she said. But it turned out, she more like, trained for Olympic diving! She's cute, successful in career and life, sexy and nasty as hell. Yup. I found love and lust, on OK Cupid! Check it out. Be subtle. Answer a LOT of those survey questions, honestly, and you might just find what you've been looking for.

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